By
Author: Penelope Mandis
Tag line: Luckily,
the ever-vigilant Mrs. Carson was on the alert when trouble came to Medvale…
Police characters: Officers Jane Prior
and Andy Carson
The gist: Mrs. Carson is Officer Andy Carson’s
grandmother. Although they live in a
quiet town with hardly any real crime, Gram sees potential muggers hiding
behind every tree on town. The officers
were drinking coffee in a cafe remembering when Gram reported a neighbor for
growing marijuana in the kitchen window and the chief had them confiscate the
plants only to later make them return them when they turned out to be
oregano.
Gram Carson
had taken it upon herself to persuade Mr. Greeley to install a new alarm system
in his store, J. R. Greeley Antiques.
Gram had a secret crush on Greeley who was a bachelor with no family
since his parents had died. She went to visit him in his store and was surprised
to find a stranger tending the store.
The security camera light was not on.
He said he was Greeley’s nephew and that his uncle was out back taking
inventory. Gram had never heard of any
such nephew and said so. The man said he
hadn’t seen his uncle in years, but business had brought him to the area so he
had stopped by. Gram was suspicious and
hustled her old self down to the café where she knew her police officer
grandson was having coffee and reported that there was a robbery in progress at
the antique store. When she explained
how she knew, the police proceeded to the store, arrested the stranger that
claimed to be the nephew, and found Mr. Greeley bound and gagged in the
storeroom.
How had Gram
known?
Crime scene: Antique store.
Clues: Mr. Greeley was a bachelor with no family.
Suspects: The visiting
nephew.
Red herrings: None.
Solution: Gram knew that Greeley was a bachelor with
no family and as an only child he couldn’t have a nephew. She also deliberately misled the man by
referring to his ‘uncle’ as Howard, when the sign on the shop said J.R.
Greeley.
My two cents: Help me, Lord. We have another Angela Potts in the making
here. This was a cute story, and better
put together than the Potts series. There
was humor and charm. BUT … notice the
photos on the right side of this blog.
These dumb-ass cops didn’t know the difference between marijuana and oregano? It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure
that one out.
And all of a
sudden Greeley is an only child in the solution? I would think that ‘having no family since
his parents died’ would have covered that.
I would have cut that bit out.
Just because the sign said J.R. doesn't mean the current owner has to have a name starting with a J.
Just because the sign said J.R. doesn't mean the current owner has to have a name starting with a J.
I must be
mellow from a nice vacation because I wanted to give this one 5 stars. There’s
nothing majorly wrong with it, it hit all the elements I’m looking for, and it
was pleasant to read. But the author blew it with the marijuana/oregano nonsense. Do your research and write credible material.
39 comments:
I am glad you had a nice vacation, Jody, but four stars worth? I wouldn't know a marijuana plant from crab grass, so I had no problem with that. Yet, here we have another of a Legion of WW mysteries with an uncle who is an only child. If that is not enough, in 700 words or less, we have a switch in scene and POV from the officers, lollygagging over coffee, to Gram who is about their business.
I realize that these mini-mysteries can be very difficult to write and still hit all the bases. I am depending on you to shed light on the process.
Two stars, and three at most.
@ Mary Jo. Police officers are trained at the academy in drug recognition. There's no way a LEO would think oregano is pot. So this story loses one star on police work.
The pacing was good. I didn't hate the characters. Gram wasn't abusive or rude. There was a defined clue. There was motive. I thought the writing was smooth and entertaining, not stilted like some of the stories are. Changing POV midstream has become accepted these days. You see it all the time, except from old school writers. I don't do it. Just like I never use !!!. But the new generation of writers does.
I can't take stars off for trite plotting or there would be no 5-star reviews. I haven't seen a fresh plot twist in a long time, but I didn't want to barf when I read it ... so that has to count for something. :)
The 5-star forum is: Clue, motive, police work, pacing and writing, and believable characters.
Welcome back, Jody, I hope you had a great trip. Where did you go?
As to this story, I'm afraid I thought the opening scene was a waste of words. POV changes rarely work for me, especially in such very short pieces. It was well put together, I agree with you on that, but we have definitely seen this 'caught out by the use of the wrong name' trick before and not that long ago. Fine if you didn't happen to read the previous one but we are starting to see the same plots, clues and solutions appearing over and over again. Of course, the story will have been submitted long before that previous one appeared, given how long it takes to go through all the various stages of submission. The repetition is not Ms Mandis's fault and we really should judge each story on its own merits, not collectively with all the rest. Still, I have to agree with Mary Jo on this one, that rating was one star too generous to my mind.
BTW, I liked the mix up with the plants... Okay, a savvy cop would know the difference between oregano and pot, but a lot wouldn't know a weed from an orchid, so as a bit of light relief I thought it was fine.
@ Chris I was on the Regal Princess that sailed out of Fort Lauderdale to St. Thomas and St. Maarten.
I can buy that Gram would call the cops on her neighbor for thinking there was pot growing in the window, that's funny. But when the cops come they would see that it's not marijuana and they would not confiscate the plants and have them tested and then have to return them. What a bunch of whooey that is.
I agree the clue was old and the plot has been overused, but at least the story had them. Some stories don't even have a motive. If a story has a clue and it works, I can't not give it a star because I've seen the clue before.
Out of clue, motive, police work, pacing/writing, and character... which two or three would you not give a star to because they were missing, weak or unbelievable?
That's the sticking point, Jody. I don't judge a story using your star system, so for me four out five (stars, marks, toffees, whatever) is above average - pretty bloomin' good in fact. For me this was about a three. It's a good job we don't all agree all the time, isn't it.
@ Chris. Oh, I see what you're saying. Yes, I'm doing a breakdown of sections of the story that work or don't work, while you're doing an overall likability rating. This blog's purpose is to try to figure out what WW buys by analyzing what they bought. It is entirely possible that Johnene gives out her personal stars the way you do.
I liked the story, particularly the pleasant gramma who's got a little romantic interest of her own going. She didn't seem snide or mean spirited like Angela Potts. The stuff about oregano was silly and old fashioned to me, but I was happy to see what looks like the beginning of another series, this time with a pleasanter woman at the center. And I didn't recognize the author's name and thought "New blood" or maybe "new ink" would be good for us all!
@ Julia. I didn't recognize the author either, but they're starting to become a blur to me actually. So here we have another small town, another old woman who meddles, and more inept cops. That formula seems to tug at Johnene's check-writing hand. I wonder if she'd like a male senior sleuth?
Jody, I'm glad you enjoyed your vacation. I liked the story with the Grandma. I didn't pick up on the name clue. That was good.
I want to talk about something that has nothing to do with the story, but with police procedure, which has often been a topic of discussion on your blog. I recently read a book called Murder on Potrero Hill, a free Kindle book. I can only imagine your reaction if you read it! I bet I could hear your screams all the way to Central Florida! In the book, a young woman died of an aneurysm caused by an overdose of Warfarin.(sp.) Her husband was the suspect, but the police could find no evidence against him. The police detectives (a feisty female and a hot, hunky male) put a tail on him and tried to break him during interrogation. The two managed to get the poor husband fired from his job as a loan officer in a bank, and they had his bank accounts frozen and his bus pass disabled!The story is set in California, but I don't that state would allow these things. The man had no money for a lawyer, and I guess it didn't occur to him that one would have represented him for free for having his constitutional rights violated like that. Actually, I liked the husband, and finished the book to find out who killed the wife. It was an interesting plot, one with potential. The book could have used a good edit, and the bungling police officers just didn't cut it. There is at least one more book featuring the two detectives... what do you think?
@ Joyce I'm going to download the book and will make comments as I read and start screaming. :)
@ Joyce. I went to get this free Kindle and it's back up to 99-cents. So I just perused the reviews.
Like I said, Do your research and write credible material. Otherwise you're doing yourself more harm than good and will get comments like these (that stay with you FOREVER):
*the book is seriously flawed by unbelievable behavior on the part of the police officers.
*Throughout the first third of the novel, the police consistently violate the constitutional rights of the main character, against whom they have no evidence. Based on the supposition that the husband is the guilty party ninety percent of the time when a wife is killed, the police department mounts a campaign to get the suspect to confess by ruining his life -- taking actions such as freezing his bank accounts and disabling his bus pass, all without warrants. During this part of the book, the "suspect" is never charged with anything related to the murder, yet the police manage to get him fired from his job and destitute. Still, he never even consults a lawyer. I found it maddening that the author was so careless about basic rights known to virtually all Americans and about normal human behavior when confronted with circumstances that involve the criminal justice system.
*No way to rate lower. Detectives appeared to be untrained and incapable of the simplest detective work. I will not purchase any more of this author's work.
*The story itself is good, however, the proceedings by law enforcement is a joke.
*I agree with one of the other reviews, these have to be the worse cops I have ever seen. How can you violate one person's rights in such a horrible way? If all the rest of these books are this stupid, I will not read anymore. So glad it was free and I didn't waste one penny on this book.
*This is one of the worst police procedurally I have ever read. I paid 99 cents and feel like I was robbed.
*This has to be the worst book written. No plot, no approach and leaves so many gaping holes.
I slept off 10 times before completing 30% of this.
Absolute crap.
So was this a self-published book? One written by a non-citizen or illegal alien? Written by someone in another country? Then when you think about it, American citizens are having their rights chipped away every day. Maybe we shouldn't be so surprised.
@ Mary Jo. Without looking it up I'm going to guess self-pubbed because no respectable publishing house would let that type of thing go. I do recall seeing that the author teaches English and journalism, which surprised me because isn't checking your facts a big deal in journalism? This story could have flown in the 40s or 50s when it was pretty common for cops to beat confessions out of people. Maybe she was going for a rogue cop series. She does have plenty of good reviews, so apparently not being accurate doesn't bother everyone. I've noticed even here in this little blog I will get comments about how the average reader doesn't care about police protocol and how I'm being too fussy with it, but I'd rather have that kind of negative comment than one about my work being a joke.
@ Mary Jo. Without looking it up I'm going to guess self-pubbed because no respectable publishing house would let that type of thing go. I do recall seeing that the author teaches English and journalism, which surprised me because isn't checking your facts a big deal in journalism? This story could have flown in the 40s or 50s when it was pretty common for cops to beat confessions out of people. Maybe she was going for a rogue cop series. She does have plenty of good reviews, so apparently not being accurate doesn't bother everyone. I've noticed even here in this little blog I will get comments about how the average reader doesn't care about police protocol and how I'm being too fussy with it, but I'd rather have that kind of negative comment than one about my work being a joke.
Oh, Jody, what a great idea - to have a male senior citizen sleuth. I love it. You could create a great one yourself and work in information about how police procedures have changed and certain things (like beating a confession out of a guy) were once OK - the good old days! Or you could even have stories where he reminisces and talks about cases from the 1960s. BTW, I forgot to welcome you back to us. I missed reading your blog while you were away and was so happy to see you were back.
A couple of TV series come to mind...that one Andy Griffith did as an old lawyer, and the one Dick Van Dyke did. I do not recall the titles.
There is a senior male sleuth in a couple of books. His name is Truman Kicklighter, and he's a former newspaper reporter, I believe. I just read Lickety Split, and there's another one featuring him as well.
@ Julie. Awww... thanks. :)
@Mary Jo and Joyce. I remember that Dick Van Dyke show now that you mentioned it. I'll work on creating a great new senior male amateur sleuth that Johnene will LOVE.
Right now I'm finishing up a WW romance...but that old guy will be next. I'll form him around my own grandpa. His name was George and he was a real gentleman, but funny too. He laughed a lot. Yes, this is shaping up....
Looking forward to "meeting" George. Al and I decided against owning a TV when our kids were growing up . . . I know it sounds weird, but we were pretty weird back then too (kids can do that to you), anyway, the point is that I do not have any frame of reference for a lot of the old TV shows, though I do watch reruns nowadays - like right now Murder, She Wrote is something I enjoy - I know, I know, it was on 30 years ago, but I'm just now watching it for the first time. I LOVE Jessica Fletcher's wardrobe, all those nice suits and shirtwaist dresses! The plots of that show are so outside reality though, Jody, they must make your teeth ache the way Jessica is always "in on" every criminal investigation that goes on. Talk about violating proper procedure! Good luck with your Grampa George character, I think he sounds wonderful.
Love Angela Lansbury. For me, she can do no wrong. I like the intro music and the old typewriter. When I watched that, I always thought, "That's me." She started out as a household frump and became a sophisticated grand dame.
We get Murder She Wrote here too. It's regular afternoon fare on TV and always watchable, though not always for the right reasons. They did one supposedly set in Ireland which was toe-curlingly awful because the accents were so OTT. It's the same when Brits try to do American - we overdo it and you must fall about laughing. But for light, easy to watch TV MSW is perfect - great for doing the ironing to. And Angela Lansbury is lovely. Her father was a London politician and a big supporter of the Suffragette movement. Isn't that interesting?
Mary Jo and Chris - Glad to know I'm not alone in my tv preferences. I will picture you at the ironing board, Chris, whenever I watch JB Fletcher from now on! Thanks for the information on her father; I bet Angela owes her warmth and charm to her politician father. It gives her a head start in her acting. And, like Mary Jo, I really enjoy the intro music and the clickety-clacking typewriter - also the old stove in her homey kitchen. Great show.
Just took the British expressions test and got a 15 out of 15, no surprise. Native New Englander, but I spent childhood sumemrs with a grannie from the British Isles. Is anyone on this site familiar with the word, "oxter"? My family used it all the time - "Carry one bag in each hand and put the third under your oxter" was the rule when toting in the groceries. It meant shove the package under your arm, up near your armpit and clutch it to your torso. Anyone?
My mother was a huge fan of Murder She Wrote. HUGE. They would show it all day long every Saturday and she'd watch until she fell asleep. She was so upset when they changed the line-up.
Never heard of oxter and I was born in New England. Must be a colloquial from your particular area.
Jody - I lived in Boston but spent winters in western Mass. and think that "oxter" may have an Irish or Scotch derivation as that's where my grandparents hailed from. They had other odd expressions as well, but "oxter" was one I particularly remember because I loved the sound of it.
I have trouble with any of the TV mysteries that have someone, such as in Murder She Wrote, who just happens to be in on a murder everywhere she goes. It's just a pet peeve of mine, although I bet the show could provide some clues that WW writers could use. Incidentally, I met Angela Lansbury once; she was on a TV talk show about domestic violence with a close friend of mine. Just said hello to her, no conversation really. I liked her in The Long Hot Summer.
@ Tamara The show took place in some little cutesy shore town, didn't it? Lobster Cove or something. We used to joke how life insurance must be impossible to get if you lived there because people were always getting killed in that little corner of the world. I guess the theory was that Jessica knew everyone and got involved because the place was so little, but the murder rate was so high it became almost a joke. If it bleeds, it leads works for TV shows too. Who stole grandma's cookie money wouldn't bring in the advertising dollars.
Yeah, you would have to be careful with a friend like Jessica...you just might be the next victim. Of course, in that show, you always knew who did it...the guest star of the week.
Jody, MSW is showing on the Hallmark channel. Take a look. Jessica (Angela Lansbury) is a big name in the murder mystery genre and she is in demand all over the country...over the world. She is not stuck in Cabot Cove. The show was shot in Mendocino, by the way, up the California coast. I suppose the weather is better there than on the east coast in Maine. Also, her character is "aunt" to countless nephews and nieces, though she doesn't seem to have any siblings, and they are always in a jam.
Another one I didn't like for the same reason was Hart to Hart. Could there be a murder everyplace those two went? I do suspend reality for other stories, I know, but that one just ruined it for me. I thought Jessica traveled from place to place, too; I probably didn't watch it enough to know. But, this is why I'm not too hard on WW mystery writers who suspend reality a bit (like me, for instance):).
Hey, no murder, no show. Then look at the mystery shows on TV today. Full of murder and mayhem...so gruesome I can't watch. No, give me Murder She Wrote and its nice little cozies. Well, I do have a crush on the Mentalist.
I have a crush on Castle, but at least he's involved with a police department. I DVR'd MSW and I'll watch some this weekend. Okay, I'll admit... I've never seen the show. I bet I think of Mrs. Potts when I watch it. lol. I watched one episode... well, I didn't make it all the way through but ... of Dexter. Hated it.
Oh, Jody, no, you won't think of Mrs. Potts because Jessica is not snide or mean to the poor confused males like the town's sherrif (played by Tom Bosley) - besides, the show is real eye candy: when she does leave Cabot Cove, Jessica often goes to someplace posh and rich, sort of Masterpiece Theatre-ish. I have only been watching MSW for a few weeks, so obviously I have not seen all the episodes, but SO FAR I'd have to say it's one of the prettiest shows I've ever seen.
Not Mrs. Potts, Jody, more likely Mary Higgins Clark who I think was the inspiration for the character of Jessica. I saw Clark at an RWA conference once. Lovely lady. That was supposed to be the evolution of Jessica--from widowed housewife, first time author to world famous, elegant sophisticate.
I've read loads of Mary Higgins Clark's books. Real page turners. Not surprised to hear she's a lovely lady, but where do those hard hitting, gripping plots come from? A very vivid imagination obviously.
How interesting, Mary Jo, thanks for the "background" info connecting Mrs. Clark to Jessica. Makes good sense, and, in all the book jacket photos I've ever seen of Mrs. Clark, she does look very well turned out and groomed, just like Jessica. (I really must be very shallow to focus so much on the LOOK of the main character and the show! But I can't help myself - it's all so pretty, and, as I said, we didn't have a TV for years and years, so now that I can watch it, the visuality of it all just stuns me!)
Julia, I think most writers are very visual people; otherwise, how can we envision scenes, descriptions, appearances and personalities. The musician is all about sound. The chef about taste. How wonderful that we have all these senses in the human person. The greatest of all, though, is heart.
Yes, Mary Jo, you're right: the greatest of all is heart. And I suppose you have a point, too, about writers being visual people. My writing, though, when I did it for a livelihood, was not imaginative, but factual. I wrote for newspapers and radio. So not really visual at all. And now I can't enough of "the pretty" wherever I find it!
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