Title: The train to
Graceland
By
Author: John M. Floyd
Tag line: Angela Potts was enjoying a leisurely
train ride home, when, naturally she ran into trouble…
Police characters: Train security guard.
The gist: Angela did not like trains but found it
necessary to be on one. She started
talking to her dining seat companion who was the security chief for the railroad. He gossiped with her about the English female
and her two male companions who were seated on the other side of the car. One male was dressed in proper British tweeds
and was burly. The second male was a
young US Air Force officer. The woman
paid no attention to the Brit, but was making eyes with the officer, who had
blue eyes and curly hair that hung to his silver captain’s bars. His name tag read Prescott. The security guard told Angela the woman was
traveling to Graceland, that she was a big Elvis fan, and had two body guards
with her; one was her own and the other had been assigned by the government as
she was the daughter of the Deputy Prime Minister. Ms. Potts wondered how an Air Force officer
had come to be assigned such duty. The train security guy told her that
government decisions are not always logical.
Later the
security guard told her that the woman’s quarters had been burgled and all her
possessions were gone. They were still a half hour from the next train
stop. The guard had the only key to the
baggage compartment, so he decided to search everyone’s compartments. Ms. Potts accompanied him. They met the two body guards in the hallway by
the first passenger car they were going to search, which happened to belong to
the body guards. The train security guy
lays out the plan to them. Ms. Potts wanted to know if the woman’s cell phone
had been taken. It was. The cell phone tone was Jailhouse Rock.
Angela told the body guards to call the phone.
The guard glanced at the security chief and the Air Force guy and said,
Now? Ms. Potts said, Yes, now. And sure enough the phone rang in the Air
Force officer’s compartment. “Is that
Captain Prescott’s door?” “Yes,” the train security guard said. “What’s –“ and he trails off. Apparently confused. A search of that compartment revealed all of
the woman’s stolen property. The real
Captain Prescott was tied and gagged and in his underwear back at the train
station.
Ms. Potts
told the security chief that she knows a bit about US military and that some
things never change.
Crime scene: On the train.
Clues: The officer’s hair length.
Suspects: I would think everyone on the train, but apparently
the list boiled down to the two body guards.
Red herrings: None.
Solution: Officers
in the US military do not have long hair.
My two cents: First of all, I
appreciate not having an ! in the tag line.
Very unusual. Thank you WW for
restraining yourselves. Either that or
this story is not ! worthy.
Have you
ever ridden on a train? It’s hard to
gossip about someone who is seated on the other side of the car from you and
not have them hear you. He must have
been whispering in Angela’s ear.
Security
guards do not eat with the passengers and certainly do not gossip about the other
travelers.
Ms. Potts
wondered how an Air Force officer had come to be assigned such duty. She’s right.
Most visiting dignitaries are afforded security through the Secret
Service. But I guess the author needed a
military man for the part so we have to believe that the Air Force became involved.
The train
security guard runs and tells Ms. Potts there’s been a crime. What the heck kind of security guard is this?
She accompanied him as he investigated the
crime…of course. I’m sure he was
thrilled to have an old woman trailing around behind him. (That’s what he gets
for opening his mouth.) Why he didn’t think she might have been a suspect is
not clear. And why would train security
not suspect one of the body guards? He
told them the search plan for gawd’s sake.
The bit
about “Should I call the phone now? Yes,
now.” is a waste of words. Also these
men don’t take orders from another passenger.
So the
stolen cell phone rings in one of the guard’s compartments and the train security
guy acts all confused. Puulleeeze. How dumb is everyone on this train? How dumb is the crook to steal when he has
nowhere to run? How dumb is this story?
Two weary
stars.
1 comment:
Your critique is hilarious, Jody--especially that last paragraph. I was struck with disbelief with this one in all the same places.
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