Notice:
I'll be moving to a new state on Tuesday. That means this blog will be on holiday until June 6th. If I did my math right, and you see by my tag line that math is not my thing, I will only have missed reviewing one mystery, the June 2nd story. I'll do a double post and get all caught up on the 6th.
Behave while I'm gone. There are snacks in the fridge. Last one out, hit the lights.
Writing for Woman's World Magazine and others. Half critique. Half blog. Half not so hot with math.

Saturday, May 24, 2014
Friday, May 23, 2014
Appearing in issue #21, May 26, 2014
Title: Rosie’s clue
By
Author: Marti Attoun
Tag line: It appeared Miss Helen’s cat had some
information she wanted to share with the detective …
Police characters: Detective Jack
Phillips
The gist: Retired bank president, Helen Horton, lay dead
at the foot of her townhouse stairs. Detective Phillips watched the EMTs load
her body onto a gurney. Helen’s niece, Mary Ellen, her only relative, had split
with her husband and had been living with Helen. She heard the fall and called 911. She told
police that her aunt had knocked on her bedroom door to tell her she was going
for her morning walk and that she’d leave the door open for the
housekeeper. Helen walked each day and was often seen with her colorful track suits, styled hair, and red lipstick. Mary Ellen said the cat,
Rosie, probably tripped Helen. The housekeeper
arrived and was distraught to hear that Helen was dead. Helen had kept her on even though she didn’t
need a full-time housekeeper since her niece had moved in. The townhouse was immaculate and the
detective noted that the bed was made and the bathroom fixtures gleamed. The vanity held a soap dish and a denture
cup. He knew that Helen had recently
reported some jewelry missing. He
speculated aloud that Helen may have interrupted another robbery. When Mary Ellen heard that she claimed to not
know anything about stolen jewelry but pointed a finger at the
housekeeper. The housekeeper was stunned
that she would be accused of such a thing, started crying, and went to the
bathroom to get a tissue. While in there
she saw that the cat, Rosie, had knocked over the denture cup onto the counter top. When the detective saw the spill, he knew who
to arrest.
Crime scene: Helen’s townhouse.
Clues: The denture cup.
Suspects: Mary Ellen, the housekeeper, or some random
burglar.
Red herrings: None.
Solution: Mary Ellen wanted an advance on her
inheritance and was angry when her aunt refused. She argued with her aunt while Helen got
ready to go for her walk. Infuriated by
Helen’s refusal she pushed her aunt down the stairs. Though dressed for her walk Helen did not
have her teeth in, but Mary Ellen had not noticed. As for the stolen jewelry
last week the detective and Helen had been amused to find that the cat had
taken the sparkly gems and hidden them. Det. Phillips used the missing jewelry to
explain the ‘crime scene investigation’ and to see who jumped at the chance to
place blame.
My two cents: Well, well, well. Where do I start?
There
was the bit about the bed being made.
Well, who made it? The
housekeeper hadn’t arrived yet. Was that
supposed to be a red herring?
Next Helen
said she was going to leave the door open for the housekeeper. This full-time housekeeper doesn’t have a
key? Mary Ellen couldn’t let her in?
What was the purpose of that bit of info?
So Helen did
not have her teeth in yet. Perhaps it
was the last thing she did every morning before her walk. Hardly a smoking gun.
I’m confused
about Det. Phillips using the missing jewelry to explain the ‘crime scene
investigation’. For gawd’s sake, a woman was dead. Isn’t that enough?
The story
said that Helen had kept the housekeeper on even though she didn’t need to
since her niece had moved in. Well, her
niece isn’t a housekeeper. In fact, now
the housekeeper has to clean up after two people.
The
cat accidently knocked over the denture cup? Those things are square and low and they have
a snap-on top. How do you knock that over so that it spills out onto the
counter top? If it had fallen off the
counter onto the floor maybe…
Once again
the story was not complete. You have to
read the solution, which was almost a column long, to put the pieces
together. The cat knew who the killer was and tipped off the police. Puuullleeese. Two stars.
Friday, May 16, 2014
Appearing in issue #20, May 19, 2014
Title: Flight of the
sparrows
By
Author: Wendy Hobday Haugh
Tag line: When
a valuable heirloom flew the coop, the sheriff was stumped!
Police characters: Sheriff Paul Marco and
Deputy Barb Grant.
The gist: At 7:00 the book club met at Shirley’s
home. The book club members were Bess
Long, Tanya Piper, Claire Hoover, Josie Burns, and Shirley Denton. The book
discussion began and at 8:30 Kenny Drake, the pizza delivery boy, arrived at
the kitchen door with the usual half-time order. Shirley left Kenny in the kitchen while she
went into the living room to collect the money for the pizza. When Shirley brought the dishes out to the
kitchen later she realized her valuable set of silver salt and pepper shakers,
in the shape of sparrows, was missing. She had dusted them just this morning. She called the police. When the sheriff questioned who else had been
in the kitchen beside Kenny, Claire said that she had used the powder room that
was just off the kitchen. Bess said that
she too had used that bathroom. Tanya
and Josie both had gone into the kitchen for sodas from the fridge. Tanya added that Shirley herself had been alone
in the kitchen several times and suggested Shirley may have hidden them herself
for the insurance money.
The sheriff drove
to the pizza shop and spoke to Kenny. A search of his person and his car
revealed nothing. After delivering the
pizza at Shirley’s house Kenny had made 5 more stops before returning to the
shop. His delivery list of names read: Denton,
Baron, Mosher, Long, Crandell and Reynolds.
The sheriff
had Kenny hop in the cruiser and they retraced his delivery route. Sheriff Marco found the sparrows.
Crime scene: Shirley Denton’s home.
Clues: Timing of the deliveries and the names of the
patrons.
Suspects: Shirley Denton, Bess Long, Tanya Piper, Claire
Hoover, Josie Burns, and Kenny Drake.
Red herrings: None.
Solution: Bess
Long paid Kenny Drake $50 to pinch the sparrows and put them in her prepaid
pizza box. Sheriff Marco found the pizza
box with the silver sparrows in it behind a bush at Bess’s home.
My two cents: I’m having déjà vu
here. Didn’t we have a story about some
guys, some salesmen or something, over to Kip’s house for football, and one of
them was a slob and had to clean up, and one of them went into the kitchen for
chips, and one guy went into the garage for something, and the pizza guy came,
and they collected the money for him, and then the host realized his Rolex
watch was missing? And it was the pizza guy. Right?
November 2013, Tracie Rae’s
story.
It sounds
like this author just changed up the players a bit. And WW coughed up $500. I’m gonna start doing that. Every story that comes out I’m going to copy
(but change) and send it in. Let’s see… I
think I’ll make my story about a bunch of women who meet every week to do arts
and crafts, and I’ll have Chinese food delivery, and the delivery guy will snatch
a valuable Bedazzler and stick it in the lo mein, and then one of the ladies
will volunteer to take the rubbish out. (wink
wink) She digs into the garbage, snatches up the goods, sticks it in her pants,
and waddles home. She gets caught
because her husband now has Bedazzled hearts on his boxers.
Hey, it’s
just as good as the story that sold.
The solution
on this story was a whopping, astounding, mind boggling 130 words long. In my opinion when you have to explain
something at that length, then the story didn’t work.
Why have
Deputy Barb there? She didn’t do
anything.
I hope
Sheriff Marco got permission to search Kenny’s person and his vehicle. The cops can’t just frisk a person or look in
their car without a search warrant or the owner’s permission. I would say that
perhaps the short story just didn’t have time to add ‘with his permission’, but
I suspect the author just didn’t know any better.
The tag line
doesn’t work. It says the sheriff was
stumped, but he wasn’t. He figured it
out ‘right quick’ as they say in my area.
One
star. It was an old rehashed story. You could figure out it was Ms. Long from the
story, but adding the pizza guy on in the solution doesn’t seem fair. The solution was waaaaay too long.
Friday, May 9, 2014
Appearing in issue #19, May 12, 2014
Title: A hole in the
story?
By
Author: Clare Mishica
Tag line: Uncle
Eli had an unhealthy diet, but was it really the doughnuts that did him in?
Police characters: Det. Delia Thorne and
her partner Det. Barker
The gist: A 911 call brings Det. Thorne and her partner
to Eli’s house where his nephew, Gage, reported he found him lying on the
floor. Thorne took photos as she surveyed the kitchen where Uncle Eli’s body
lay. There was a half-eaten doughnut on
the table along with other pastries, a frosting smeared newspaper, a cell
phone, a set of keys, a cracked coffee mug that had rolled towards the sink
leaving a trail of coffee, and a briefcase leaning against a nearby cabinet
with coffee splashes on it. The ME announced
Eli had been dead for less than one hour and could not rule out a heart attack
until further tests were done. Eli was
on heart medication and was not known to eat healthy. Eli was wealthy and a
major supporter of various wildlife organizations. In fact he had publically stated that he had
already made bequeaths for the animals.
Nephew
Settler said that Uncle Eli was fine last night and that his uncle had invited
him to go fishing this weekend. Settler
was at work when his brother called him with the news.
Nephew Gage
said that Uncle Eli had asked him to stop by this morning to talk about a fund
raiser he was planning. When Eli didn’t
answer the door Gage used his key (both brothers had a house key) and went
in. He said he found him face down on the
kitchen floor. He dropped down beside him and checked for a pulse, found none,
and called 911. He then rolled his uncle
over and tried to administer CPR. The
EMTs took over when they arrived but they could not revive Uncle Eli. Gage said
his keys and briefcase were still in the kitchen.
Det. Thorne
looked over her photos again and knew it was not a heart attack but
murder. She suspected poison and she
knew who did it.
Crime scene: Uncle Eli’s home.
Clues: Coffee spatter on the briefcase.
Suspects: The two
nephews….or his own heart.
Red herrings: His bad heart, his poor eating habits.
Solution: Gage supposedly arrived after Uncle Eli
had fallen, but his briefcase had coffee splatter which could only happen if he
were there when the man fell and dropped his coffee. Gage had gambling debts.
My two cents: If Gage had dropped to
the floor, turned over his uncle, and attempted CPR wouldn’t his clothes have
been wet from the coffee mess? The lack
of that should have been a huge clue for the detectives but it wasn’t mentioned.
Maybe it got cut.
Detectives
don’t generally take photos of the crime scene, but they can. Maybe it was a quirk of hers. I don’t think this story really needs photos
but they didn’t spoil the tale.
Seems like a
lot of people in these stories have gambling debts. That’s getting a bit old. Along with the scads of rich uncles and aunts
making their heirs wait for the money.
There was
nothing wrong with the story. It was just
okay.
It wasn’t particularly entertaining or clever. The clue was quite easy. Three
stars.
Friday, May 2, 2014
Appearing in issue #18, May 5, 2014
Title: The
coffee-break bandit
By
Author: Laird Long
Tag line: One of the firm’s employees had sticky
fingers, and Max Mann, office manager, was going to find out who it was…
Police characters: None.
The gist: Someone stole $200 of petty cash from Bea’s
side drawer while she was on coffee break.
She always took her break between 10:15 and 10:30. Bea immediately reported the theft to Max,
the office manager. Max quickly determined who was in the office and who was
out in the field and began to question the three possible perps. He asked accounts payable clerk, Annabeth,
where she had been for the last half hour.
She said she had been at her desk working all morning and as a new
employee she hoped he was happy with her work.
Next he visited the Sid the salesman’s office. When asked if he knew
anything about missing petty cash the salesman showed Max his telephone which
showed he was on a sales call from 10:13 to 10:32. The last person he asked, Leslie the
accounting manager, didn’t respond well to what she saw as an accusation and
said she was nowhere near Bea’s desk this morning, then added, “Why doesn’t Bea
put the money in a locked drawer anyway?”
After
speaking with the three possible suspects, Max knew who did it.
Crime scene: Office.
Clues: The time of the theft.
Suspects: The
three employees, Annabeth, Sid, and Leslie.
Red herrings: Annabeth had no real alibi. Leslie knew the money was in an unlocked
drawer.
Solution: Max never mentioned the time of the theft,
but Sid the salesman immediately knew what it was and had created himself an
alibi with the phone call. Sid admitted
that his commissions were light and he needed the money.
My two cents: Although this was a
simplistic tale with an easy clue I found it entertaining because of the
style. Author Long captured a film noir flavor
with this piece.
“I shoved a
chair out with my foot, shut the office door with my hand. My office is that
small, my responsibilities that large. I’m Max Mann, the firm’s office manager, the
one they all come to with problems.”
I can almost
see Max with the sleeves rolled up on his crumpled white shirt, in need of a
haircut, with an overflowing ashtray on his desk. Great characterization. I’ll even overlook the trite ‘a light bulb
switched on’ because it fits the style of the tale.
Long used the
ever popular three-suspect pattern and inserted red herrings. The piece was well written. I couldn’t find
any errors of any sort. I’m inclined to
give it 5-stars for the interesting twist to an old story format.
Friday, April 25, 2014
Appearing in issue #17, April 28, 2014
Tag line: Josephine Miller learned the hard way
that, when push comes to shove, it’s always all about money!
Police characters: Det. Kristine Kay. Sgt.
Bill Morgan.
The gist: The story begins with Josephine, an
elderly woman, in the hospital with a broken leg. Her dress, her best outfit, had dirt and
leaves clinging to it and she was brushing it off and rubbing a black spot on
the back of it while she spoke to police. She
claimed someone pushed her down a ravine. She told Det. Kay that she believed one of her
relatives wanted her dead. And it could
be any of them she said, as they all stood to inherit plenty. She explained that her Cousin Arlene arranged
for a family bus trip. At a scenic stop
the family got out to take photos.
Josephine was going to stay on the bus with Cousin Henry but his snoring
drove her out. She walked over to a
flowerbed by a ravine and that’s when she claimed she was pushed.
Sgt. Morgan
had gathered the relatives in a waiting room.
One of the relatives had a photo of the group from that stop. The group
was posed in front of a cave. Missing
from the group in the photo were three people; the driver Cousin Conrad who
stayed back because Henry was still in the bus; Aunt Marian who is afraid of
caves; and Cousin Walter who won’t let anyone take photos of him since he had a
run-in with the law.
Aunt Marian,
who is afraid of bats in caves, said that Henry had walked up to her and asked
her for a loan. She said the discussion
became a bit heated. She noted that Josephine had also turned Henry’s loan
request down earlier today. Henry did
not deny asking the ladies for a loan and said Josephine told him he’d have to
wait for his inheritance like everybody else.
Conrad, the
driver, claimed he had been tinkering under the hood as he is a mechanic and
owns an auto repair shop. The group came
back from the photo stop and Arlene told him Josephine was missing so he went
with the group to look for her. They found her unconscious in the ravine.
Henry, who
had been napping, told the police he had heard Marian and Henry arguing but he
couldn’t see them because the hood of the bus was up.
Det. Kay
knew who did it.
Crime scene: The photo stop on a bus tour.
Clues: The black spot on the back of Aunt Josephine’s dress.
Suspects: Everyone except Henry who didn’t get off the
bus.
Red herrings: The fact that Walter has a police record. The fact that Walter was asking people for
money.
Solution: Conrad
knew the dozing Henry wouldn’t be able to see over the hood of the bus so when
he had the opportunity he pushed Josephine down the ravine while the rest of
the group was over by the cave. The black spot on the back of Josephine’s dress
was grease from Conrad’s hand. He
admitted his auto repair business was floundering and he wanted his share of
the money now.
My two cents: I struggled with this
story because of the bus. When you
charter a bus, they don’t let you drive it.
It comes with a qualified licensed bus driver. You have to have a chauffer’s class
license. And Conrad certainly wouldn’t
be tinkering under the hood of a chartered vehicle. They’re locked for one
thing. I don’t believe charter buses
have front engines. They’re in the rear.
The front part is taken up by a huge
window. All this bothered me.
With that
aside, Tracie did have three people who were questioned. She also had good red herrings although it
was a bit heavy handed in pointing at our ex-con. I thought the black spot was dirt so it was a
good clue. No problems with her police
work.
Friday, April 18, 2014
Appearing in issue #16, April 21, 2014
Title: Reading
between the lines
By Author: Phyllis Whitfield
Tag
line: When
Detective Beth Smart conducted the investigation, she went strictly by the
book…
Police
characters: Detective Beth Smart
The
gist: Carter told the police that when he drove up
to his uncle’s house he noticed a blue van parked on the side street, and his
Uncle Oliver reading in his chair by the window. As he was walking up the sidewalk he was
shocked to see a person in the house.
Uncle Oliver sprang up from his chair, shouted and shook his fist and
then Carter heard a shot. He claims the
killer ran out the back before he was able to get inside the house. He didn’t
get a good look but said he or she was tall and dressed in a dark coat and
hoodie. He had heard the back door slam and the squeal of tires. Uncle Oliver
was dead so he called 911. Oliver was a
ruthless businessman who had made enemies.
The victim lay sprawled on the floor in front of his chair by the
window. On the table beside the chair
was a novel with a folded-up pair of
reading glasses on top, and a half empty cup of coffee. The dead man still had his expensive watch
and wallet, so robbery was ruled out as a motive.
The niece showed up, Ellie. She and Carter routinely had lunch with their
uncle every Friday. She told the
detective that Uncle Oliver confided in her last week that he was having
problems with some investors and they were threatening to sue him.
Just then the front door burst open and a large
man entered, Oliver’s brother Jake. Jake
said he couldn’t reach Oliver earlier by phone so decided to stop by. Ellie informed him that ‘Uncle Oliver’s been
shot”.
All said they would benefit from Oliver’s
will.
Det. Smart arrested one of them for murder.
Crime
scene: Oliver’s home.
Clues: Well…the tag line gives it away. The book with the reading glasses folded on
it on the table.
Suspects:
The nephew, niece, and brother.
Red
herrings: The blue van.
Solution:
Carter
argued with his uncle about a loan. When
Oliver refused to give it to him, Carter shot him. Carter’s story about seeing his uncle reading
gave him away. If Uncle Oliver had
confronted a strange man in his home, he wouldn’t have removed his reading
glasses and folded them neatly on his book.
My
two cents: The clue wasn’t too obvious and except for WW feeling
the need to give it away with the tag line it might have been missed.
When Ellie ran to her Uncle Jake and cried “Uncle
Oliver’s been shot” why didn’t Jake ask if his brother was all right? Shot doesn’t mean dead. Even if he could see his brother lying on the
floor, which I’m not certain he could with three people standing between him
and the victim on the floor, wouldn’t he at least run over there to him, or ask
if he was dead? Is that an intentional
red herring or an author brain fart?
I think the solution is muddy and poorly written.
A portion of it read: “Carter admitted that he
went to his uncle’s house to request a loan and found him reading. As their discussion heated up Oliver put down
his book and removed his glasses and set them on the book.”
If you were reading and a guest arrived I’m quite
sure you would put the book down and take your reading glasses off, especially
if you expected that person. Ellie said she and Carter had lunch with Uncle
Oliver every Friday, so Carter didn’t go to the house to request a loan as the
solution suggests. Perhaps he went a bit
early to speak to Oliver about it, but that wasn’t very clear.
Oh boy, there’s a police procedural problem here
for me to carry on about. J At a murder scene in a home uniformed
officers are stationed at the entrances to the house because the police don’t let
people just walk around a crime scene contaminating it. So it would be impossible for Jake to ‘burst
in the front door”. Such a quick
forceful action might even get him shot if he surprised the police inside.
The police don't arrest people on a hunch. The detective might have been suspicious of his story and decide to investigate but no arrest would have been made on the spot. The story should have said that the "detective knew who did it".
By the way, a dark coat and a hoodie are two different animals.
The police don't arrest people on a hunch. The detective might have been suspicious of his story and decide to investigate but no arrest would have been made on the spot. The story should have said that the "detective knew who did it".
By the way, a dark coat and a hoodie are two different animals.
Because of all these little niggling things, I
have to give this story 3 stars.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)