Title: The
coffee-break bandit
By
Author: Laird Long
Tag line: One of the firm’s employees had sticky
fingers, and Max Mann, office manager, was going to find out who it was…
Police characters: None.
The gist: Someone stole $200 of petty cash from Bea’s
side drawer while she was on coffee break.
She always took her break between 10:15 and 10:30. Bea immediately reported the theft to Max,
the office manager. Max quickly determined who was in the office and who was
out in the field and began to question the three possible perps. He asked accounts payable clerk, Annabeth,
where she had been for the last half hour.
She said she had been at her desk working all morning and as a new
employee she hoped he was happy with her work.
Next he visited the Sid the salesman’s office. When asked if he knew
anything about missing petty cash the salesman showed Max his telephone which
showed he was on a sales call from 10:13 to 10:32. The last person he asked, Leslie the
accounting manager, didn’t respond well to what she saw as an accusation and
said she was nowhere near Bea’s desk this morning, then added, “Why doesn’t Bea
put the money in a locked drawer anyway?”
After
speaking with the three possible suspects, Max knew who did it.
Crime scene: Office.
Clues: The time of the theft.
Suspects: The
three employees, Annabeth, Sid, and Leslie.
Red herrings: Annabeth had no real alibi. Leslie knew the money was in an unlocked
drawer.
Solution: Max never mentioned the time of the theft,
but Sid the salesman immediately knew what it was and had created himself an
alibi with the phone call. Sid admitted
that his commissions were light and he needed the money.
My two cents: Although this was a
simplistic tale with an easy clue I found it entertaining because of the
style. Author Long captured a film noir flavor
with this piece.
“I shoved a
chair out with my foot, shut the office door with my hand. My office is that
small, my responsibilities that large. I’m Max Mann, the firm’s office manager, the
one they all come to with problems.”
I can almost
see Max with the sleeves rolled up on his crumpled white shirt, in need of a
haircut, with an overflowing ashtray on his desk. Great characterization. I’ll even overlook the trite ‘a light bulb
switched on’ because it fits the style of the tale.
Long used the
ever popular three-suspect pattern and inserted red herrings. The piece was well written. I couldn’t find
any errors of any sort. I’m inclined to
give it 5-stars for the interesting twist to an old story format.
4 comments:
Perfectly simple crime, told in a stylish manner. I loved it. I think the author did a great job.
--Mary Ann Joyce
Nicely done. I enjoyed the 'noire-ish' storytelling, very Sam Spade, and thought it moved along well.
I liked the style of this writing. I know Max was an office manager, but he somehow reminded me of one of those old-fashioned detectives. The characterization was right-on for Max.
P. S. I've tried about 4 times to get the words right to prove I'm not a robot. Heck, at this point, I don't care if I am or not. They finally gave me one in big block letters, so hopefully, if you read this, it went through. I need a drink.
@ Joyce. Sorry about the robot problems. That's out of my control. I think you should have a drink any ole time...:)
Even the name Max Mann was spot on. Best story I've read in a while.
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