Title:
Coin return
By
Author: Adrian Ludens
Tag line: The thief was going to end up paying a high price for
stealing the valuable coin!
Police characters: A non-identified security officer.
The gist: Karen, the manager of the
convention center, was on hand while the coin show was being set up. There were to coin dealers at the moment in
the center setting up their booths. A
heavy-set dealer accused the taller vendor of stealing a valuable coin while he
was busy bringing in cases of coins. The
coin, a quarter, was in a plastic holder, a two by two, and had a price mark on
it of $1600.00. It went missing while
the heavy-set dealer was away from his table.
The only other persons in the room were a janitor who was putting trash
bags in the cans, and a soda vendor who was filling up the soda machines. Karen called for security and security got
the story and asked both men to turn out their pockets. In the meantime, Karen went around and looked
in each trash can. In the can nearest
the soda machine she found the empty coin packaging and an unopened soda can.
Crime scene: Convention center.
Clues: The empty packaging and the unopened
soda can.
Suspects: The four men involved; two coin dealers, the janitor and the
soda man.
Red herrings: None.
Solution: The soda delivery driver took advantage of the vendor’s
inattention while setting up. He spied
the valuable coin and stole it. After restocking
the soda machine he threw the empty coin packaging in the trash, put the stolen
coin in the vending machine with other quarters, bought a soda so that the coin
would drop in the collection bin and not be available if someone pressed coin
return, then threw the unopened soda in the trash. He planned to return after the event and
collect the valuable coin from the machine.
My two cents:
I was pretty happy with the way this story was going until the soda guy
threw the unopened can in the trash. Huh? He was stocking the soda machines for the
event, right? Why wouldn’t he have just
put the can he just bought back in the case with the rest of the soda? Why throw it away?
If you stole something valuable, wouldn’t you
discard the evidence a little further away than the trash bin right next to where
you’ve been seen standing? I would have had
him flush it down the toilet in the men’s room.
Another
thought, if this guy had the key to the vending machines why didn’t he just
open the machine, pretend to add soda or count stock or something, and place
the coin amongst the other quarters inside the coin collection tin and lock
up?
I wasn’t
crazy about the tag line. It was a bit
lame. All thieves end up paying a high
price for their crime. Something along
the lines of ‘coin collecting’ would have been sharper.
Once again
the title to the story gave too much away.
It could have been titled Coin Collector without giving up the clue.
No sense even
mentioning there are three exclamations points in the first three sentences. ((sigh))
I did like the
fact that this author didn’t use any names except for Karen. It’s much easier to keep track of the players
when they are just described. The
heavy-set man, the taller man, and the security guard; as opposed to John
Jones, Bill Smith and Adam Carlton. Using
this method the reader is not pulled out of the story to try and figure
out -- Who is Bill Smith again?
