Saturday, June 7, 2014

Appearing in issue #23, June 9, 2014


Title:  A serious case of murder

By Author:  Tamara Shaffer

 


Tag line:     Lily Blaine’s love of houseplants had gone to her head…

Police characters:   Detective Janice Pinkton, Detective Martin Owen

The gist:    Lily Blaine was found dead in her apartment, her head bludgeoned with a large potted plant that now lay shattered on the floor along with the soil and wilted white blooms of a cereus, a night blooming plant.  The detectives found no signs of forced entry.  The ME set the time of death at about midnight. She was found by the building manager, who called the police and also her next of kin on file, Rudy Blaine. Rudy was her current husband.  Neighbors had complained of loud arguments between the two.   

Niece Mimi arrived and was told of her aunt’s demise. Mimi claimed she saw her aunt just yesterday morning when she stopped by with pastries.  She told police she had come to discuss the trust fund that her aunt was setting up for her and her brother.  Mimi also told police that Lily and her current husband were quarreling over money.  She added that it was the same situation with Lily’s first husband. Mimi told the police that her aunt had a new boyfriend and that he seemed to be a nice guy.

 Just then her brother appeared, Robert.  Robert claimed he stopped in for tea yesterday afternoon and to help his aunt arrange her many plants.  Aunt Lily loved her plants.  Robert stated Lily was going on about her plant with the big white flowers.  Both Mimi and Robert claimed to have been home alone the night before.

The detectives began calling on the husbands and the current boyfriend.  Husband number one said he was home alone watching TV the night before.  He added that he loved being alone after being married to that nag Lily, and it was the happiest day of his life when she remarried.  Lily’s current husband actually laughed when he spoke to the detectives.  He said the last time he saw Lily was yesterday in his attorney’s office.  He added that he hated her, but wouldn’t kill her.  Lily’s current boyfriend was upset and crying.  He said they planned to marry and that last night he spoke to Lily and she said she was tired, so he went home after work and stayed there.

Detective Pinkton said that one of the suspects planted a self-incriminating clue.  What was it?

Crime scene:    Lily’s home.

Clues:    Night blooming plant.

Suspects:  The niece, the nephew, the two ex-husbands, and the current boyfriend.

Red herrings:    None.

Solution:  The nephew lied.  He was at his aunt’s home at night, not in the afternoon.  He mentioned the plant’s white flowers which only bloom at night. He wanted his trust fund sooner rather than later.

My two cents:    This was a tightly written story that followed the plant theme throughout.  The male detective confused ‘serious’ with ‘cereus’, the word serious is in the title, and in the end Det. Pinkton talked about a clue being planted.  Even the tag line works. 

The police work was spot on.  I could find no problems with it.  The characters were portrayed nicely.  You could see the different personalities with just a few words.  The story was paced well, and it was an enjoyable read.  Ms. Shaffer even gave us 5 suspects. 

Well done, Tamara.

20 comments:

Tamara said...

Thank you, Jody. I'm so glad I finally got one right. Johnene made a lot of little changes in this story but none that made me bristle. She rejected a previous one similar to this because I forgot to include a statement by the detective that provided the clue. It was based on the o-triangularis plant, whose leaves turn into little umbrellas in the sunlight. I simply forgot to inlcude a statement by the detective that said so.

Chris said...

This was everything Jody said it was, as well as being an enjoyable read. I'm no gardener, so the clue got past me but didn't irritate me when I found out the answer. I checked with a couple of other WW writers because I thought the colour of the flower would still be visible even when the petals were folded but they say it retracts completely, so GOOD CLUE.

Welcome back, Jody. Hope the move went without a hitch.

Joyce Ackley said...

This was a great story. I picked up on the clue because I was looking for it as a WW mystery reader. I don't recall reading a mystery that had 5 suspects. Four of them had strong motive.
Well-written with a theme throughout, this little mystery made for a good read.

Jody E. Lebel said...

@ Tamara

I'm glad Johnene didn't make any major changes. The story must have been strong enough to just leave alone. Tell us a couple of little things she did...we're just dying to know.

Jody E. Lebel said...

@ Joyce

I agree. I didn't give this story a good review because Tamara is a regular on this blog... I did it because it was a solid story with a good theme. If I had found any errors I would have commented...maybe more gently than usual...but I would have pointed out any problem spots. There just weren't any. :)

Jody E. Lebel said...

@ Chris. No move is without problems. When I got here the water was turned off. It took two business days to get it back on, so I was in a hotel for a few nights. Some things got broken in the move. But all in all, I'm in. My next door neighbor is friendly. The weather is great. My mail is coming through...but I still haven't gotten my WW mags yet.

Chris said...

So all in all, not too harrowing. Good job. Does this mean a new job, too, Jody, or are you still near enough to work in the same place?

Jody E. Lebel said...

@ Chris. I moved from Massachusetts to southern Florida, West Palm Beach. It's about 1400 miles. BUT... I will still work for the same court reporting firm. Now I just do it all online instead of going into court a few days a week. I'm very happy to sit home in my jammies with a cup of tea and work whatever hours I want. I will miss the people and socializing at work...but you can't have it all.

Mary Jo said...

Jody, are you on the water? Get a boy friend with a boat and you can socialize all you want to.

Good for Tamara. And I believe she has a romance coming in the next issue. We should all do so well.

Jody E. Lebel said...

@ Mary Jo. Not on the water. You're thinking of Palm Beach. I'm just a few miles away tho...probably 3-4 miles. I'm very close to City Place in West Palm (shopping/eating area). A few miles after that is the ocean. But the boyfriend with the boat it a great idea...:)

Tamara said...

I like the boyfriend-with-the-boat idea, too, Jody. Then you can publish the story in a WW romance (hopefully not a mystery).:) Thanks for all your praise, everyone, and yes, I do have a romance coming out -- with major changes -- not Johnene's idea; turns out the EIC said edit or reject. So I am grateful that Johnene pushed it through. Anyway, I can show you the original mystery if you like, and you can see her changes.

Mary Jo said...

Tamara, it sounds as if you have a direct line with the editor. Or you can ask her direct questions and get information. How does that work?

The EIC wanted Johnene to rewrite your story? How do you feel about that? Well, I suppose the money helps.

Chris said...

I know it's cheeky to tag this to someone else's feedback but I've got a story on the Metro Moms website and they ask writers to spread the word via social media. If anyone feels like spending five minutes reading my story and leaving a comment, that would be great.
http://metromoms.net/2014/06/08/enjoy-your-meal-sir-by-christine-sutton/
Thanks so much.

Jody E. Lebel said...

@ Tamara. I'd like to see the original story. Do you want me to post it on this blog?

Jody E. Lebel said...

@ Chris. I left a comment on the Metro Mom site. Nice job. Good twist. You had me worried.

Tamara said...

Yes, you can post it. I sent it to you already. Let me know if you didn't receive it. As I said in my email to you, I liked my own version better because it was snarkier (I think that's the word I want), but I do think Johnene's spelling out of the word "cerius" was a good idea; otherwise the other detective would have thought it was "serious". As for the changes in the romance, I built the story around the subject of rain, which was mentioned in one of Shakespeare's plays, The Twelfth Night. EIC wanted a better known play, so there goes my rain theme. I'm sure I won't be happy, but Johnene made the change and asked EIC to look at it again. Had she not done that, I would have received a rejection, and I'm grateful to her. Concerning the direct line, sometimes it's open and sometimes it's not.

Tamara said...

As I also mentioned in my email to Jody, I intentionally had the detective usher the niece out of the room to question her because of what I've learned from Jody in this blog, but I now realize that I failed to do the same with the nephew.

Chris said...

You covered that angle with the niece, though, Tamara, so I sort of took it as a given for the nephew. Sometimes we don't have to spell everything out.

Jody E. Lebel said...

@ Tamara. The story has the nephew showing up...I assumed he came to the front door and was greeted by the police there. I think that you're covered.

Tamara said...

Thanks, Jody.