ALWAYS TAKE EXTRA CARE WHEN PUTTING
A BODY THROUGH A MEAT GRINDER
by author Colin Falconer
One of the stories Colin is fond of telling is from a pretty reliable source, a member of the Royal Hong Kong police force. Colin used it in one of his books. It was the only real thing in his book, but he caught a bit of flak about it as being too farfetched. The story was about two Triad (Chinese secret society involved in organized crime) henchmen who were driving around one night wondering what to do with the body they had in the boot – as you do – so they broke into a dumpling factory and tried to force the corpse through a mincer.
But the body jammed and when one of them tried to free it he got his own hand stuck in the machine as well and lost two of his fingers. His mate took him and his mangled digits to the local emergency department.
But the doctor who tried to re-attach them was quite puzzled. His patient had lost an index finger and a thumb; what they had brought with them to the ER was a pinkie and part of a toe.
His suspicions were aroused, as they say.
And that’s how the cops made the arrest. The two hit men were caught red-handed, so to speak.
“Rule one of reading other people’s stories is that whenever you say ‘well that’s not convincing’ the author will most likely tell you that’s the bit that wasn’t made up. Real life is under no obligation to be convincing.” – Neil Gaiman