Appearing in issue 31, August 3, 2015

Title:  Not a Lovely Lady!

By Author:  Tracie Rae Griffith and Robin Christine Ireland

Tag line:    The beauty pageant contestant turned out to be not-so-beautiful after all!

Police characters:   None.

The gist:    A woman, Bobbi, who has a home business, Lovely Lady, gets an e-mail from a beauty pageant contestant ordering $400 worth of products, a big order for her.  The pageant is called Miss Sunshine. The woman said she would be in the area on Tuesday and wanted to meet at a café to pay for and pick up her order. Being wary of scams where people are lured out of their homes for some purpose and then their homes are burgled, Bobbi gets her brother to house sit while she makes her delivery. Bobbi waits at the café meeting place, but the woman doesn’t show.  Just as she was about to leave, a man came rushing in and introduced himself as Marie’s husband.  He said Marie got tied up and couldn’t come herself, but he had a copy of her order and a check for $642.18.   When Bobbi asked for another check for the correct amount, the husband said he didn’t have another check on him and that Marie must have made a mistake. He asked her to refund him the difference and that would make them square. He pressured Bobbi a bit saying he would have to go buy the products somewhere else if this didn’t work out.  

Bobbi knew it was a scam and told him so.  How did she know?

Crime scene:   This was an e-mail scam.

Clues:    It’s a Miss Sunshine pageant. 

Suspects:   The “husband”.

Red herrings:    None.

Solution:   In the e-mail “Marie” said she was entering the Miss Sunshine pageant, a contest where the contestants cannot be married.  The “husband” sent the e-mail with the intent to get $400 worth of products, and a nice little check for $242.18.  Bobbi got his license plate number and reported the scam to the police.

My two cents:   I liked the setup of this story.  It starts with an e-mail.  Something different.  Bobbi was in tune with how scams work and asked her brother to watch her house.  I thought that was a good detail.  This was all believable and relevant to today’s world. There was nothing corny or dumb in this modern tale.  The title fit and the tag line didn’t give it away.

Clue:  I had to go look up the rules for Miss Sunshine.  I didn’t realize you couldn’t be married and be a contestant, so I missed the clue.  But it’s there.

Motive:  Greed.

Police Work:   No officers were included in the story but the bad guy was caught by the license plate, which happens all the time in real life.

Writing:   The story flowed well, it was well constructed, and the authors made you like the ‘victim’.

Characters:   Believable.  The bad buy was smooth and even though Bobbi wanted that sale she hesitated and gave it some thought.

Sell Yourself Short. Option #6

Magazine name:  Fast Fiction/That’s Life!

Website: www.thatslife.com.au

Country:  Australia

Publication: 
       Frequency: Weekly
       Australian Circulation: 185,049 (Dec 2014)
       Readership: 1,016,000 (Dec 2014)
Types of stories wanted:  Humorous, positive, contemporary stories with strong plot.  Avoid boy meets girl and HEA.  No stories narrated by animals or babies.  This is a family magazine, no graphic crimes, sex or domestic violence.  For Themes see below or go to www.thatslife.com.au/fastfictionguidelines


Setting should usually be in Australia unless there's a real need for the setting to be elsewhere eg a Scottish castle.  Set spell check for English Australia. Male viewpoint stories are welcome.  Core Target: Women 25+. Content: Real Life.


There are two ways they publish fiction:
     1) A one-page story in the weekly edition of that's life! Magazine o
     2) A range of one, two, three and four page stories in their quarterly Fast Fiction magazine, released seasonally (Summer/Spring/Autumn/Winter)

Page length and payment (if known):

1 page = 600-900 words

2 pages = 1200-1500 words

3 pages = 1600-2000 words

4 pages = 2200-2600 words

These are approximate and the final word count printed will depend on the design of the page/s. You don't need to overly cut or edit your story to fit the word counts.    

All invoices will be submitted to the finance department when the issue is sent to print. Please note the payment is for how many pages are published, not the pages/word count of your unedited original submission.

The payment rates are as follows: (In Australian dollars)

that's life! weekly magazine

(one-page story) = $300

Fast Fiction quarterly

1 page = $200

2 pages = $300

3 pages = $400

4 pages = $500

What I like: 

“If you don't hear from us...

If your story isn't accepted it can be for any number of reasons. Sometimes we have already published, or have in stock, a similar story. Or we may feel it will not appeal to our readers. But this does not mean we will not like another of your stories, so don't lose heart. Keep writing and sending them in!”

Exclusivity term: 90 days after the date of first publication. 

What I don’t like:  

  Couldn’t find anything to gripe about.

How to submit:   They accept only emaile submissions. Email your story, for both the weekly magazine and quarterly magazine, to fastfiction@pacificmags.com.au and you should receive an auto-response acknowledging your submission.

Format
Send your stories in Microsoft Word format, as an attachment to the email. Please do not paste/write your story into the body of the email.

Send one attachment per email. Do not attach multiple stories.

Please do not heavily format the story with tabs or headings, and use single spacing between sentences. Include your name and contact details. Include the following in the subject and body of the email:

- Story Name

- Theme (* See below for themes)

- Word Count

For example: The Magician, Spooky, 1200 words

Response time: If you have not heard anything from them in 90 days, it is unlikely your story will be used. You are welcome to resubmit stories six months after your first submission.

More info:  They accept stories that have either never been published anywhere previously worldwide and/or have not been published in an English speaking publication. If it's been published in English, in the UK or USA for example, unfortunately they can no longer consider your story, so please do not submit.

Please understand that due to the bulk of emails they receive, they are unable to reply individually to submissions, nor can they reply to follow up correspondence asking if stories have been received, read or accepted.

Editor: Linda Smith. Katherine Davidson, newest editor 2015.

They have a new Writer's Agreement in place and you MUST complete it for your story to be published with them. If we don't have an agreement from you and they want to use one of your stories you can find the agreement in their website.

Send seasonal stories six months in advance (and remember Aussie seasons are opposite to those in the UK and USA.)

Themes
In the weekly magazine, they run a wide range of stories and do not publish them with strict themes, except for the annual events below. Please note for themes they will need to receive submissions at least two months before the event.

- Australia Day (Jan)
- Back to School (Jan/Feb)
- Valentine's Day (Feb)
- Easter (April)
- Anzac Day (April)
- Christmas In July (July)
- Mother's/Father's Day (May/Sept)
- Halloween (Oct)
- Melbourne Cup Day (Nov)
- Christmas (Dec)
- New Year's Eve (Dec/Jan)

For the quarterly Fast Fiction, they have SIX themes, so your story should fall into one of the following categories:

- Romance (All things love)
- Heart warmer (Sweet stories/happy endings)
- Thriller (Keeps you guessing until the end)
- Revenge (Someone gets their just desserts)
- Sixth Sense (Spooky/Scary/Spiritual/Mystic/Fate and Fortune)
- Light Bite (Everything else! A fun, easy read)

Appearing in issue 30, July 27, 2015

Title:  Ball and Chain

By Author:  John M. Floyd

 

Tag line:    Joyce Cole said she was telling nothing but the truth about her ex-husband.  Angela Potts wasn’t so sure…

Police characters:   Sheriff Jones, amateur sleuth Angela Potts

The gist:    Angela’s cousin, Joyce Cole, according to Angela, is a compulsive liar and she hates Benny, her ex-husband. (1) This story starts with about two columns of Sheriff Jones going to get Angela, where’s she fishing, to come with him because the victim of a crime (Cole)  would only let Angela interview her.  Twenty minutes later in Cole’s living room, Cole was glaring at Angela.  (Don’t know why, because she asked for Angela.) Cole tells them that her ex-husband, who is out on parole, entered her house last night while she was asleep and stole $1000 out of her cookie jar. She said she locked the house up tight last night, latching every window, locking and chaining every door, put the garage door down, and then she went and checked everything twice. She said she keeps a key under a loose brick on the patio that her ex knew about. She said, “This will send him back to jail, right?  And it has nothing to do with the fact that he left me.”  (2)  Cole pointed to a wire stripper tool lying on the carpet, saying her ex must have dropped it.  Angela tells the sheriff he better check it for prints.  When she said that Cole’s eyes got wide and she said, “He’s an electrician of course it’s his, and it’s too small for prints, right?” (3)  When Jessica Fletcher … oh sorry, I meant Angela Potts said the tool looked new and yes there would be prints on it (by the way where’s the sheriff?  Playing games on his iPhone?)  Cole said “There won’t be any prints because he was wearing gloves.”  (4)  When Angela said she thought Cole told her she was sleeping, Cole’s face went pale and she started sweating. (5)   Angela accused Cole of lying and trying to frame her ex-husband.  Cole broke down crying and admitted her act.

Now, here’s the best part.  Crackhead Sheriff Jones asked Angela, “How’d you know?”   How did she know?  HOW DID SHE KNOW?!   (My head just exploded.  Give me a moment to go get a paper towel to clean up the mess.)

Crime scene:   The real crime is that somehow Sheriff Jones not only made it through the police academy, but got a JOB in law enforcement.

Clues:    See the BIG 5 above.  Plus the fact that the door was chained from the inside so even a key wouldn't get him in.

Suspects:   I think Sheriff Jones is sleeping with the victim.  Hey, it’s just as dumb as everything else in this story.

Red herrings:    The red herring is the fact that Jones is a cop.

Solution:   Duh.

My two cents:   The sheriff gets Angela to interview the victim.  WTF.  Angela tells the sheriff he better check the tool for prints.  I guess they didn’t teach him that at the academy.  Good thing she was there. 

Clue:   Yes, there was sure a bunch. Very blatant. Talk about spelling it out.

Motive:  Yeah, she had one.  Hate is a motive.

Police Work:  Don’t get me started.

Writing:  Overdone.  The ‘victim’ went pale, started sweating, questioned the fact that fingerprints could be gotten off the tool… ad nauseum. She might as well have been wearing a sign that said “I did it”.

Characters:  Getting dumber with each story.

Sell Yourself Short. Option #5 - Let's talk kids...

Magazine name: CICADA

Website:  cicadamag.com

Country:  USA

Publishing details: 6 issues in 12 months.

Circulation:  10,000

Types of stories wanted:   CICADA is a YA lit/comics magazine fascinated with the lyric and strange and committed to work that speaks to teens' truths. They publish poetry, realistic and genre fiction, essay, and comics by adults and teens. (They are also inordinately fond of Viking jokes.) Their readers are smart and curious; submissions are invited but not required to engage young adult themes. The magazine is aimed at ages 14+.

They offer high-quality fiction (and poetry) dealing with the issues of growing up, leaving the joys and pains of childhood behind, and becoming an adult. It is filled with enough different ideas, styles, and subjects to please any intelligent reader.

Fiction. Realism, SF/fantasy, historical fiction.

They are currently calling for submissions on the theme of “Witches.”  The deadline is September 9th, 2015.

According to their website: “Cicada is looking for poetry, fic, nonfic, satire, and comics on WITCHES. We’re on the lookout for folk and fairy tale retellings, investigations of the witch in history, works on the everyday spell craft of fashion, beauty, makeup, and the domestic (the hearth, the cauldron, the kitchen) as well as the spell cast by the arts. Also of interest: the witch in nature: the garden, the dark wood, the night. Feminist and above all intersectionally feminist, works: especially welcome!”

Page length and payment: 

They pay well, up to $0.25 per word of prose. They accept fiction pieces up to 9,000 words. (Prefers up to 5,000 words.) That means the cap on payments is $2,250, though the payment rate does seem to vary. Most writers should not expect to get paid at the top end of the pay range. With most publications, new contributors usually start at the low end of the pay range, which was not articulated.

What I like:  They’re run by the established Cricket Magazine group, Carus Publishing. They’re a great publication that any YA writer should be proud to be published by. Cricket Magazine Group will consider all manuscripts sent on speculation.

What I don’t like:  Cicada does not distribute theme lists for upcoming issues, so you can’t get prepared.

Submission guidelines: Before submitting, be sure to familiarize yourself with the magazine. Check out issue excerpts at cicadamag.com. You can purchase additional sample issues online, by emailing customerservice@caruspub.com, or by calling 1-800-821-0115. Issues are also available at many local libraries.

 

• Please submit a complete manuscript. We do not accept queries.
• Fiction and nonfiction manuscripts should include an exact word count; poetry manuscripts should include an exact line count.
• Include full contact information: phone, email, and mailing address.
• Manuscript should be submitted as a .doc, .docx, .txt., or .rtf file.
  Response time: Please allow up to 3-6 months response time.
  How to submit:  The only place we accept online submissions is cricketmag.submittable.com.  No other forms of emails or attachments or regular mail will be accepted.
   
  More info:       The Manuscript Review Process

• After they are received, manuscripts are reviewed by first readers. First readers consider each submission’s literary potential and whether it might be a good fit for one of our magazines.
• Promising submissions are then carefully reviewed by at least three editors: an assistant editor, the magazine’s editor, and the editor-in-chief.
• The editor-in-chief, in conversation with the magazine’s editor, makes a final decision on whether to reject or accept the manuscript. For manuscripts that show some promise but need further development, the editor may write the author to request revisions on speculation.

After Acceptance

• If we accept your manuscript, we will send you an acceptance letter detailing payment and rights information and any revisions we would like you to make.
• Once we’ve received your revisions, we carefully line edit the manuscript. The manuscript is then returned for your review. We work closely with our writers to bring out the best in each story, essay, and poem.
• Once the manuscript is edited, it will be kept on file until it is assigned to an issue. Because we work 6-8 months ahead of each issue, it can be a year or more before a manuscript is placed.

  

Rights

• Stories and poems previously unpublished: Rights vary.
• Stories and poems previously published: CICADA purchases second publication rights. Fees vary, but are generally less than fees for first publication rights.

 

Appearing in issue #29, June 20, 2015

Title:  Photo finish

By Author:  Wendy Hobday Haugh

 

Tag line:    As the sheriff examined the scene of the crime, she realized the break-in was a pretty bungled affair!

Police characters:   This story never reveals the names of the cops.  Is that a bad thing?  I don’t know.  It didn’t seem to hurt the story.  But on the other hand the reader has no one to fall in love with and want to see again.

The gist:    The victim was a 70-year-old woman who lived in a tidy cottage.  When she returned from grocery shopping she discovered her back door wide open and several items missing; TV, digital camera, CD player, and an heirloom silver teapot.  The teapot had sat atop of a chest full of antique sterling silver, yet only the pot was taken.

The sheriff noticed the jimmied back door and stoop littered with splinters.  She thought to herself that breaking a window would have been quicker.

The victim told the sheriff that she had a habit of going shopping Wednesday mornings by 10:30 the latest and she usually took about 90 minutes, being home by noon.  She said her friends, neighbors, cashiers, and relatives would know her routine.  The sheriff had her deputy call to see if any grocery store employee was out that morning.  Then she followed the victim around to see where items had been stolen from.  Everything was on the first floor.  The jewelry on the second floor was untouched.

The sheriff became suspicious by the clumsy yet perfectly timed break-in, the fact that the robber didn’t go upstairs, and the odd choice of loot (low tech stuff) yet the computer and jewelry and silver weren’t touched. Anyone who knew the victim knew she lived modestly and there wasn’t much there to steal.  The sheriff also wondered if the odd assortment of loot was designed to hide one particular stolen item. 

The victim had recently been to a family reunion. She said she was glad she had downloaded all the photos from her new camera onto her computer.  The sheriff asked to have a look.  When they looked through the photos they found a shot of the victim’s nephew in the arms of another woman… his brother’s wife.

Crime scene:   The victim’s cottage.

Clues:    There were none.  This was all spelled out for you.

Suspects:   The cheating guy.

Red herrings:    Gawd, I wish there were a few.

Solution:   The solution was a column long and went on and on about how the cheating guy was going to just take the memory card but he didn’t want the theft to be pointed at the family in the reunion, and yada-yada-yada.  He broke in and took a couple of things to hide the fact that he really wanted the camera.  He didn’t know she had downloaded it already.

My two cents:   So where’s the mystery?  This was a good story, but it was also an odd little ditty.  There’s nothing to solve in this solve-it-yourself mystery. This is more of a piece you’d find in an Alfred Hitchcock or an Ellery Queen magazine.

We never heard back from the deputy if there were any missing employees in the grocery store that morning.  Might as well just throw away the words used for that part.  They were useless.

“Anyone who knew the victim knew she lived modestly and there wasn’t much there to steal.” I’m going to disagree with that thought process.  A bag of crack is only $10.  A crackhead only wants to smash and grab and get his fix.  Doesn’t matter how modest someone lives… she had a TV and a camera for him to pawn or sell fast. 

The title and the tag line fit well and didn’t give anything away.   WW seems to LOVE silver teapots.  Anyone else notice that?

Clue:  There was none.  Can’t give a star for ‘clue’ when there is none.

Motive:  A cheating husband. 

Police Work:  No problems or errors in the police work. 

Writing:  The author had the sheriff thinking to herself.  That’s not something we see too often.  I kind of liked it. And the author didn’t make the police out to be bumbling idiots.  They came in, looked around, and asked the right questions.  Although I do differ on the definition of ‘jimmied’.  This guy forced the lock by prying it open and splintering the door frame.  When you jimmy a lock you stick something into the tumblers, like a pick, and try to manipulate it and you don’t damage the wood.  But … whatever.  The term is used loosely.  Potato/potahto.

Characters:  They seemed genuine.

I’m going to go with 3 stars but this submission doesn’t fit the mold.  I wonder if WW is breaking new ground here with this story. I’ve never heard of WW accepting a story what had no clue; that just flat-out told you who did it before the solution. I’m scratching my head this week.

Write yourself short. Option #4.

Magazine name: Tin House

Website:  www.tinhouse.com

Country:  USA

Publishing details: Four times per year: the first week of December, March, June, and September.

Circulation:  Greater than 10,000

Types of stories wanted:  They accept unsolicited submissions September 1 through May 31, and, as always, their summer and winter issues are not themed.  They consider each submission for all upcoming issues regardless of theme. If you wish to be considered for a particular theme, please make a note in your cover letter.  See the website for their themes, and suggested deadlines for each theme issue.  Be aware that these fill up fast, so get your theme-issue submissions in as soon as possible.

Sample stories: http://www.tinhouse.com/blog/35742/more-with-less.html

Page length and payment: Short story: 1000 – 7500.  Stories/essays: up 10,000-word limit.  Over 10K will not be read. $200.00 minimum for fiction.  Pay can be up to $800 for fiction.

What I like: 

Number of Debut Authors per Issue: 2-3

Tin House is a haven for authors at the peak of their powers and also a jumping-off point for unpublished writers and anyone taking risks, pushing form and language. They are a magazine not identified with any one region but international, drawing writers and contributing editors from all over the globe. Each issue seeks to be tantamount to an invitation to the greatest literary house party ever. 

From editor: Rob Spillman

 Do you encourage general submissions at all?

“Absolutely. Every single issue I publish a poet and fiction writer who has not been published before. We're actively looking for unpublished people. It's a thrill to be able to call someone up and say 'I'd love to publish your story' and be able to root for them throughout their career. It requires a fair amount of labor to commit to that but we're absolutely dedicated to it.”

 How many manuscripts do you get on average per edition?

“Between 1500 and 2000 a month, so per issue between 4500-6000. “

 Who reads my submissions?

“We have a volunteer crew of about twenty-five readers. All of our readers have an extensive background in the literary arts and most have advanced degrees in English or writing or both. They are put through a grueling gauntlet before being offered a position. Submissions are also read by our editorial interns, who hold an equally competitive position and are extensively vetted. Finally, most of the magazine’s editorial staff read submissions on an ongoing basis, as well.”

 Whom do you see as your typical reader?

“A mix of students, writers and the publishing industry. Other book publishers and agents all read it. We're increasingly adopted by MFA classes.”

 What I don’t like:  Can’t think of anything.

 Submission guidelines: 

They accept simultaneous submissions.  In the event that the work is accepted for publication elsewhere, please do them the courtesy of informing them promptly.
Only previously unpublished works will be considered for publication.

Wait 90 days before e-mailing to check the status of your submission.

Response time: They say they try their best to respond within six months but, in some cases, this period may be longer. If you have not received a response from them within six months, they be happy to receive e-mail inquiries and will do their best to respond. info@tinhouse.com.

 How to submit:  Submit here:  https://tinhouse.submittable.com/Submit

 They prefer electronic submissions, but submissions can be mailed to: Tin House, PO Box 10500, Portland, OR 97210. Please enclose an SASE (include an IRC with international submissions), or they cannot guarantee a response or the return of your work. Typed manuscripts should be double-spaced on

8 1/2 x 11 inch white paper, one side only. Submission must contain your name, address, e-mail address, and a telephone number where you can be reached.  They ask that you please wait until you hear back from before submitting new work for consideration.

More info:   Tin House began in May 1999.  The main office is in northwest Portland, Oregon. The magazine is actually named after the office building in Portland, which is an old Victorian with corrugated zinc siding and is known in the neighborhood as “the tin house.” The East Coast office is in Brooklyn.  Tin House is consistently honored by major American literary awards and anthologies, particularly for its fiction.

 Notes:  Questions not addressed on this page may be directed to info@tinhouse.com.

 Curious to see what else is going on at Tin House? Find out by visiting them at their blog, The Open Bar.   They also have a Facebook page. https://www.facebook.com/tinhouse?fref=ts