tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5015329098122035196.post4029457471556235812..comments2023-09-30T10:31:07.390-04:00Comments on Short Fiction. Write it. Sell it. : Appearing in issue #42, October 21, 2013 Jody E. Lebelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08777207515123248962noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5015329098122035196.post-82599717309715538652013-10-12T19:46:32.452-04:002013-10-12T19:46:32.452-04:00Maybe I read this story too quickly, but when I sa...Maybe I read this story too quickly, but when I saw that the clue was a different shade of paint on the brush, my reaction was, "So what?" I liked the character sketch of Sharp, and I thought it set him up for someone to do him in. So it was no surprise that Meese had good reason to clobber him. In my opinion, he should have got away with it, though.<br /><br />The description of the murderous act got a little complicated. My view of such a short short story is, keep it simple. Maybe the same is true of a murder.Mary Jonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5015329098122035196.post-13588221265186206142013-10-12T09:05:01.384-04:002013-10-12T09:05:01.384-04:00@ Chris. RE: Meese as the killer. The solution a...@ Chris. RE: Meese as the killer. The solution asked: What clue gave Dell Meese away? It was a little ambiguous but it alluded to the sheriff thinking it was him.<br /><br />I forgot about the tape measure. Another little detail that was not needed. <br /><br />The author did 'paint' a picture of a very unlikable character, so much so that we wanted to kill him ourselves... or at the very least didn't mind that he was dead. I guess you're right in that regard, in that that was the author's intention.<br /><br />I'm thinking the statue might have had some kind of solid flat part that did the skull crushing. Sort of like a solid floor hit. The story didn't say that, and that would have been a better use of the 700 words then telling us about a tape measure.<br /><br />I still don't like the shock sentence. One second he's in a "state of shock", one second later he's shaking it off and dragging the body around. This might have been a place where something got cut. Jody E. Lebelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08777207515123248962noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5015329098122035196.post-83263135745619579002013-10-12T07:43:56.984-04:002013-10-12T07:43:56.984-04:00I just re-read the story, Jody, and the Sheriff do...I just re-read the story, Jody, and the Sheriff doesn't actually name Meese as the murderer. The story ends when he says, "This was no accident" and the reveal is made in the Solution Box. I know it's a moot point but the reader is left to draw the conclusion that Meese's guilt will be discovered in the subsequent investigation, which is fair enough given what went before.<br /><br />What I was more dubious about was the ME straight away telling the officer that falling onto a tile floor had killed Sharp, totally ignoring the statue-shaped dent in his skull. And what was the point of the tape-measure resting on top of another paint tin? If it was meant to be a red herring, well, I didn't see the relevance.<br /> <br />I thought the inclusion of the nasty touches concerning Sharp were useful in painting (ahem) the picture of his character. You couldn't like him, so presumably nor would his employees. It provided a motive of sorts. The fact that he got a professional accountant for a bargain-basement salary also doesn't endear him to the reader so that, even though skimming money from the firm was a criminal act, you sort of had a smidgeon of sympathy for Meese. <br /><br />To my mind, the use of the word 'shock' meant that, even as he was trying to save his own skin, Meese did feel upset at what he'd done. It's one thing to plot to murder someone, quite another to carry it out. He'd acted out of desperation, that's how I read it.<br /><br />All in all, a pretty solid little story in my opinion.Chrisnoreply@blogger.com