Title: Cold case
By
Author: Gary Delafield
Tag line: Whoever committed the murder would be
spending a long time on ice!
Police characters: Sheriff Travis Brown
The gist: Real estate agent Terri had been showing a
couple a house that had some appliances included in the price. A large freezer in the basement was one of
them. When they went to look at it the husband
jokingly said, “I wonder if they left us any steaks?” When he opened the chest freezer they found
another real estate agent. He had been
clubbed and stuffed into the freezer. He
had been at the house the day before and crime scene estimated that his body
had been in the freezer since yesterday.
The real
estate manager said that the victim irritated a lot of people and that he had a
nasty sense of humor. She checked her
log and found that three other agents had shown the house yesterday. The victim was the listing agent, so he
insisted on accompanying all of them for the showings. The victim did not have a key to the property,
only the showing agents had keys.
The first
agent, Marion, was a petite woman in her 60s. She confirmed that the victim had
been with her when she showed the house, but had been alive when she closed up
and they all left. She suggested the
police talk to the skinny blonde who just joined the agency, saying that the victim
liked to flirt with the new ones.
The skinny
blonde turned out to be Terri, the woman who had found the body. She said she forgot to mention that she had
been with the victim the day before. The
same buyers who looked at the house yesterday with her had asked for a second look
today, and that’s how they found the body. She said she had left the victim a
voice mail so he’d know the house was showing again today, but he never showed
up. She claimed that she and the victim
were not romantically involved.
The third agent who showed the house yesterday
was a man name Mike, a retired contractor.
He claimed that when he showed the house the victim told him he had a
meeting later. Mike didn’t know what the
meeting was about and assumed the victim was headed off to a bar.
The sheriff
knew who did it.
Crime scene: The basement of a house being shown for sale.
Clues: Where the body was found. The time of death. The victim had a nasty sense of humor.
Suspects: The three agents who showed the house on the
day he died. Marion, a petite older
lady. Terri, a skinny blonde woman. Mike, a former contractor turned real estate
agent.
Red herrings: Terri lied about being with the victim on the
day he died.
Solution: Mike did it. He was the only one of the three that could drag
and lift a dead body into the freezer. Mike had asked Terri out but she had
declined. The victim teased Mike
relentlessly about it even saying that Terri had accepted a date with him. In a fit of jealous anger Mike clubbed the
victim then put him in the freezer. He
was hoping to dispose of the body the next day, but Terri showed the house
before he could do that.
My two cents: Okay, I’m ticked
off. At first I thought, “What a great
story, I can’t find the clue.” Only a
man would be strong enough to lift the body into the freezer. But the story
didn’t say the how old the male was or talk about his build. He could have been 85 years old for all we
know. And what if the two women teamed
up? An older lady and a skinny blonde could
do it if they worked together. So the
clue lies in the motive. I went back and
read the story again. No motive.
The victim was the listing agent, so whoever
sold the house, they would both make money.
Nobody really liked him, but nobody hated him either. The older lady commented that he liked the
ladies and hit on the new agents. Still
no motive. The agent, Terri, who found
the body, omitted the fact that she had been with the victim the day he’d been
killed. So she lied. That’s suspicious, but that’s not a
motive. It was, however, a good red
herring.
I anxiously
turned the magazine to read the solution.
Then I frowned. The reason I
couldn’t find the motive was because the author didn’t give us one. The motive was in the solution. It was a long and drawn out. It explained how
the fact that the victim had a nasty sense of humor played into the
motive. Readers hate that they can’t
figure it out from the story. They feel
cheated, and rightly so.
There are
only seven reasons a person will kill (other than war, social violence, or
serial killer/sociopath). Jealousy is
one of them, but you have to love someone to be jealous enough to take action. You don’t kill every man who comes along and
gets a date with a woman you just asked out and who said no. The motive sucked.
Loved the
title. The tag line was clever. There was a missing word and a bad comma in
the second column. (Harrison Walsh, had been clubbed in the basement the
washer, then his body stuffed in the freezer.)
I’m thinking it was a fast edit and it got missed in the chopping. Even after three edits by the publisher, my
book still has one typo. Very
annoying. But it happens.
It was an
interesting premise, the writing was crisp (although I’m not a fan of She
said with a sneer. Too much telling vs
showing) and the pacing was good. Two
stars for the above. The unbelievable motive
and missing details in the story eat up the last three stars.