Notice....

This blog is on sick leave. Indefinitely.  And I’m not the patient.

I find it comforting in a way to understand that at different times as we move along in our lives each one of us is given a burden to bear.  Comforting?  Because I know I am not alone.  How we deal with what we are given will be determined by how we were raised and how we choose to live our lives.  A terminal illness has struck my family. It doesn’t matter if you come from the poorest family on the face of the earth or you were the President of the United States, Alzheimer’s disease does not discriminate. In fact in a recent survey, Alzheimer’s was listed as the most feared disease among American adults, second only behind cancer. Dementia is also well documented as being the most costly disability in the world.  It is a death sentence. 

I first realized my mom was ‘losing it’ when she would tell me the same cat story over and over again.  Every time we’d get in the car to go shopping, she’d say, “Did I tell you what the cat did today?”  And inside I’d whine and think, “Not the cat story again!”  Then she couldn’t do her checkbook.  Then she would confuse her dates and months.  I moved from Massachusetts to Florida but mom didn’t want to come with me, stating she preferred to stay where she knew her surroundings and neighbors. That made sense, so I didn’t push her.  For months she would ‘present well’ when we talked on the phone, but one day the police called to tell me mom couldn’t find her way home.  And it hadn’t been the first time.  That weekend I flew up to take her to the doctor. Mom was diagnosed the late stage Alzheimer’s. And so my eyes were opened to what was really happening to her, and I began my journey as her caregiver.  That was this spring.  I really didn’t know what I was getting myself into, but I couldn’t turn my back on my mother.

Alzheimer’s disease is an irreversible, progressive brain disorder that slowly destroys memory and thinking skills, and eventually the ability to carry out the simplest tasks. Estimates vary, but experts suggest that more than 5 million Americans may have Alzheimer’s. With staggering numbers like these, more and more of us will become caregivers in our lifetimes. Caring for a person with Alzheimer’s disease can have a high physical and emotional cost. The demands of day-to-day care, changes in family roles, and decisions about placement in a care facility can be difficult, if not crippling to the family. Here’s where I come in.  I am ‘the family’.  I’m an only child.  I must help my mom get through her last days.  I have found that it is exhausting, emotional, and stressful and I’ve only just begun this journey. It is imperative that I put aside some activities, even those I enjoy, especially if they are of the ‘deadline’ type as these activities now create stress for me, and my life is already too full of stress.  My only option is to cut out what I can.

Becoming well-informed about the disease is one important strategy, which is why I attended an Alzheimer’s Support Group meeting that was given in my community by the Southeast Florida Chapter of the Alzheimer’s Association.  The first meeting was a PowerPoint discussion focusing on the topic of how to tell the difference between dementia and memory loss due to normal aging, something a lot of us worry about.  Something I worry about.  The speaker highlighted the ten warning signs of the disease, and answered questions from the group.  I saw my mom in all of those ten signs.  She’s at a stage 5 of 7, 7 being bed ridden and close to death. Informative, calm and reassuring, this lady set the stage for what is to be my new life caring for my mother until I am no longer able to. I have no delusions about how much I can handle.  There will come a time when I have to move mom to a facility. I know that.  I accept it.  And when that time comes I will do it and know it is best for both of us and that I did the best I could. 


But currently, mom lives with me here in Florida in my condo.  She has to.  My days are filled with answering the same questions over and over. And I do it with a smile. My goal is to make her laugh every day, give her food she loves to eat, and make her feel comfortable and safe.  I’ll give you an example of how my days go.  Mom fears the overhead ceiling fans.  She thinks one of the blades will come loose and chop her head off.  She really believes that.  You can’t reason with her, because she has lost the ability to reason.  She can’t put two and two together because this disease has robbed her of that.  When I explain the stability of the blades, show her the four screws holding each one in, she’s fine… for a day to two.  Then I see her worried face, watching the fan.  So I disabled all the ceiling fans.  I don’t want her to worry or have fears.  We now use floor box fans and she’s fine.  She has forgotten that you flush the toilet after use.  So I check once in a while and flush.  She always says she’s not hungry. I accepted that for a little bit, but now I just put the food in front of her and she eats.  She doesn’t really know if she’s hungry or not.  She can’t tell.  Each week there’s something new for us to figure out. It’s going to be a long journey.  The doctors can’t tell me how long she’s got.  It could be two years.  It could be ten.

I thank you for understanding that I must concentrate on this most complicated, emotional and sometimes overwhelming task of my life and give up some of the things that used to be fun but are now too time consuming.

I wish all of you great success in your writing endeavors.  I hope to see your names on best seller lists and awards lists and by-lines in WW.  Most of all, I send you all my love and my wish that you never have to undertake my journey.

Jody

Sell Yourself Short -- Option #9

Magazine name:  The Threepenny Review

Website:   www.threepennyreview.com

Country:  USA

Publishing details: Quarterly; March, June, September, December. Founded in 1980. It is published in Berkeley, California by founding editor Wendy Lesser.

Circulation:  It has a readership of 10,000.

Types of stories wanted:   They recommend that those submitting work for the first time to take a look at a sample copy beforehand. (Print copies are available from the publisher for $12.00; digital copies can be downloaded instantly for $7.00.) But I found that you can read past stories here:

 http://www.threepennyreview.com/readingroom.html

Page length and payment (if known):   $400.00 per story. Articles should be about 1200 to 2500 words, Table Talk items 1000 words or less, stories and memoirs 4000 words or less.

What I like:  This payment buys first serial rights in our print and digital editions, and the copyright then reverts to the author immediately upon publication.

What I don’t like:  

They have a reading period.  They do not read submissions during the second half of the year (July through December), so please do not submit work then. Any material sent during that period will be discarded unread.

How to submit:

See: http://www.threepennyreview.com/submissions.html

The only two ways to submit work; through the mail and via their online system. All online submissions must consist of a single document in Word format (.doc or .docx). Please include your name and address somewhere on the document as well as in their submission form.

All mailed manuscripts must include a stamped, self-addressed envelope for our reply. Submissions should be mailed to:

    The Editors

    The Threepenny Review

    PO Box 9131

    Berkeley, CA 94709

 

Warning:  Emailed submissions will be discarded unread.

 

Response time: Response time for submissions can range from two days to two months. Please do not submit more than a single story or article until you have heard back from them about your previous submission. If you have not heard from them within a couple of months, you should assume that either your communication or theirs has gone astray.

More info:

They do not print material that has previously been published elsewhere, and they are adamant that they will not consider simultaneous submissions. Writers who do not honor this request will not be published in the magazine.

Appearing in issue 33, August 17, 2015

Title:  Don’t bank on it

By Author:  Phyllis Whitfield

  

Tag line:    When it came to identifying the thief, the clear-eyed detective did a better job than the surveillance camera!

Police characters:   Detective Beth Smart and her assistant (?) Charlie Young

The gist:    Brenda, who works in a jewelry story and was working late doing inventory, was getting in her car to make a bank deposit (a whole week’s worth) when someone hit her and took the money pouch out of  her canvas bag.  She said it was dark in the parking lot and she didn’t see who did it. She said she normally puts the money in her purse but used the canvas bag this time because she was going to pick up sandwiches and soda on her way back for everyone.

 Employees, Sarah and Billy, heard her scream and came running out but they didn’t see the culprit.  Billy is Sarah’s boyfriend.  Billy wears glasses. Billy told the detective that a strange guy came in the store today asking about expensive watches.  He didn’t ‘look’ right and Noel, another employee, thought he acted weird. Noel was acting nervous in front of the police, tugging at his tie. 

About this time the owner comes running in.   He yelled at Brenda who then burst into tears. He told her putting the money in a canvas bag was a bad idea, that it was sure to attract attention.  He said things like, “Can’t any of you do the right thing unless I’m here to tell you what to do?”

The surveillance camera lens was blocked by a large tree branch and didn’t capture the crime.

Detective Smart didn’t need the surveillance footage to know who stole the money.

Crime scene:   Jewelry story parking lot.

Clues:    The canvas bag.

Suspects:   This so-called weird guy, or one of the employees who might have seen Brenda put the money in the canvas bag.

Red herrings:    The weird guy.  The nervous tugging on the tie.  The author mentioned one guy wore glasses.  I thought maybe the cops would be able to see a glint of eye glasses in the surveillance footage…but that didn’t happen.

Solution:   The owner knew the money was in the canvas bag.  He wouldn’t know that unless he stole it.  He had a gambling debt and was also going to file an insurance claim.   He knew the surveillance camera was blocked by a branch.

My two cents:   There’s a link missing here.  Brenda normally puts the money in her purse.  The owner knows that.  So why did he grab the canvas bag? 

Brenda was going to pick up sandwiches and soda for everyone … so she took the canvas bag?  What?  The deli doesn’t have bags?

What dumbass makes a deposit once a week?

The tag line doesn’t work.   At all.

Clue:    The canvas bag is the clue but in the big picture it didn’t work.

Motive:    Greed, debt.  Stupidity.  Oh, wait, that’s not a motive.

Police Work:  I don’t understand a detective having an assistant.  What is that?  Detectives don’t have assistants.  They’re not clerical staff; they’re a para-military organization.

Writing:  Well…it rolled along okay.  The angry, mean boss making Brenda cry was a good tactic.  It took our attention away from the fact that a clue was being given.

Characters:   Nothing awful.  Nothing notable.

One star for hiding the clue well.

Sell Yourself Short - Option #8

Magazine name: Writers Digest

Website:  www.writersdigest.com

Country:  USA

Circulation:  This is an eight-times-a-year publication founded in 1920 with a circulation of 110,000. Their readers include men and women of all ages and varying levels of writing skill and success. The majority of their readers live in the U.S. and Canada.

Page length and payment:  For manuscripts, they pay 30–50 cents per word, on acceptance, for first world rights for one-time print use and perpetual electronic use. Should they want to reprint anything they have purchased from you in anything other than electronic format, they will pay you 25% of the original purchase price per use. Contributor copies are sent to writers and artists whose work appears in that issue. 

For lengths, see below.

What I like:  An index of each year’s issue contents is available at www.writersdigest.com so you can see what topics have already been contracted or done to death. 

 You can purchase copies via the newsstand or www.writersdigestshop.com.

On-spec submissions are preferred.  I don’t like to have to query.  I like to send the story off and be done with it.

What I don’t like:  Can’t find anything. 

Submission guidelines: Each submission must include your name, address, daytime telephone number and email address.

Response time: 2–4 months response time.

How to submit:  wdsubmissions@fwmedia.com

Types of stories wanted:   

Inkwell

This upfront section of the magazine is the best place for new writers to break in. Each Inkwell features an 800-900–word lead story that kicks off the magazine. The article ranges in style and tone every issue, but often takes the form of an opinion-based piece, weaving a narrative and drawing out tips for readers. It can be a great place to discuss theoretical or timely concepts.

Inkwell also features short pieces of 300–600 words (how-tos, trends, humor, insight on news that will still be relevant when our next issue hits stores, weird and intriguing tidbits about the writing world). Traditional queries are accepted for Inkwell, but on-spec submissions are preferred. Include “Inkwell:” and the name of your piece in the subject line of your query.

5-Minute Memoir
Secretly my favorite section of the magazine, 5-Minute Memoir is their new venue for 600-word essay reflections on the writing life.  

While 5-Minute Memoir is a diverse spot in which they want a writer’s individual style and voice to come through, the essays they love most are those with a strong narrative element, relaying an experience and its subsequent wisdoms and takeaways for writers. Submit on spec to wdsubmissions@fwmedia.com, with “5-Minute Memoir” in the subject line.

Reject a Hit

They claim they need more of these 300-word, short-sighted rejection letters!

This back-page feature is a humorous fake rejection letter, of 300 words or fewer, spoof-rejecting a classic or beloved book. As the intro to the feature goes, “Let’s step once again into the role of the unconvinced, perhaps even curmudgeonly or fool-hearted editor: What harsh rejection letters might the authors of some or our favorite hit books have had to endure?” Winning submissions generally focus on books in which a broad base of readers would be familiar with, and poke fun at a short-sighted or absurd editor—not the original author of the featured book. 
For Reject a Hit, they accept on-spec submissions only. Submit your letter via email (no attachments, please) to wdsubmissions@fwmedia.com with Reject a Hit: [Book Title]” in the subject line.

Go to http://www.writersdigest.com/tag/reject-a-hit for past sales.

Reject a Hit is humorous, but not mean-spirited. It is not the place to list all the reasons you hate a particular book. To help you understand the spirit of Reject a Hit, browse through the archives of published rejections

Please do not send submissions pertaining to any of the following, as they have already been soundly rejected:

Frankenstein Stoker

Harry Potter by JK Rowling

Frankenstein by Mary Shelley

The Elements of Style by EB White

The Cat in the Hat by Dr. Seuss

Fun With Dick & Jane by Gray and Sharp

Marley & Me by John Grogan

A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens

The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle

Romeo & Juliet by Shakespeare

Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov

Crime & Punishment by Dostoyevsky

Jurassic Park by Michael Crichton

Moby-Dick by Herman Melville

The Odyssey by Homer

Charlotte’s Web by EB White

Breakfast at Tiffany’s by Truman Capote

The Godfather by Mario Puzo

War & Peace by Leo Tolstoy

How the Grinch Stole Christmas by Dr. Seuss

Charlie & the Chocolate Factory by Roald Dahl

“Rip Van Winkle” by Washington Irving

Great Expectations by Charles Dickens

My Life at The New York Times by Jayson Blair

The Exorcist by William Peter Blatty

The Lorax by Dr. Seuss

Animal Farm by George Orwell

The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien

The Road by Cormac McCarthy

The Old Man & The Sea by Ernest Hemingway

Goodnight Moon by Margaret Wise Brown

Tulips & Chimneys by e. e. cummings

The Shining by Stephen King

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams

Runny Babbit (A Billy Sook) by Shel Silverstein

Webster’s Dictionary by Noah Webster

Our Mutual Friend by Charles Dickens

Middlemarch by George Eliot

A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Bad Beginning by Lemony Snickett

This blog is on V-A-C-A-T-I-O-N..... YAY!


See you next week.  Don't fight. 


There's no food in the fridge but there is a bottle of wine.


Jody

Appearing in issue #32, August 10, 2015

Title:  Crime ring

By Author:  Patrick Scaffetti

 Tag line:    Linda wasn’t exactly sure who had stolen the diamond ring but she was leaning toward one suspect…

Police characters:   None.

The gist:    We’re at Whispering Breeze senior condominiums.  Linda, who likes to do crossword puzzles and fancies herself a mystery solver, is at the pool.  Also in the pool is Simon, a guy who fancies himself a ladies’ man.  There is Lillian who is sitting with Harold, and also Helen who is sitting across from them.  Lillian had been nicknamed Diamond Lil because she liked to wear lots of expensive jewelry.  Harold was known to favor the blackjack table.  Helen was known to be jealous of Lil’s jewelry and often made catty remarks about her.  Also at the pool was Chester, a man with a reputation for filing false insurance claims. Chester was limping from a recent suspicious fall.  His left leg was allegedly injured.

All seemed calm at the pool… until Lil cried out that her diamond ring was missing.  Simon started looking in the water for the ring.  Harold said he had to leave to go gambling. Helen speculated that Lil didn’t really lose the ring, that she just wanted the attention.  Chester said it was time for his medication and left the pool area leaning on his left leg.

Linda said she knew who had taken the ring.

Crime scene:   The pool area at the senior condos.

Clues:    Chester’s limp.

Suspects:   Harold the gambler, Chester the cheater, or Helen the coveter.

Red herrings:    Harold liked to gamble.  Helen was jealous of Lil’s jewels.

Solution:   There was a column long explanation about how Chester stepped on the ring in the pool and clenched it between his toes and tried to walk off with it but it was in the wrong foot from the leg he had injured and Linda saw him limping on the wrong leg.

My two cents:   Good grief.  Did the man never hear of bending over in the water and taking the ring out of his clenched toes and slipping it into his bathing suit?  Into his cheek? Or just palming it?  What a dumb story.   Too many characters introduced all at once.  The entire first column talked about Linda and how she liked to do crosswords and how she liked to solve mysteries and how long she lived at the condos and how she knew all the neighbors….yada yada yada.  Get on with it already.

Then we get a plethora of old people at the pool with very little background or even any details of real interest.  We’ve got Linda.  Well, she didn’t do it because she’s the ‘sleuth’ here.  We’ve got Simon, who thinks he’s a ladies’ man.  That doesn’t shout thief.  Then we’ve got Lil and Harold.  I supposed he could steal from her.  He certainly made a quick getaway and didn’t stop to help her look even for a minute.  Some boyfriend.  Then we’ve got Helen, who was jealous of Lil’s jewelry. The author never did say why.  There’s no depth to these characters.  Finally we have Chester, a man known to pull a fast one.

Clue:  Chester’s limp.

Motive:  None specifically written into the story. Was it greed or did Chester just like to take advantage?

Police Work:  None.

Writing:   It was a bit convoluted with too many characters.  Linda got the most attention but the others were rushed.  I can see why.  With six people in the story it’s hard to give us a nice feel for the characters.  The solution was not believable.  Imagine an old man with a diamond ring clutched in his toes trying to walk out of the pool area?  Ridiculous.

Characters:  Wooden.  Too many.

Sell Yourself Short - Option #7

Magazine name: One Story

One Story, Inc. is an award-winning, independent, 501(c)(3) not-for-profit literary publisher devoted to promoting the art form of the short story and supporting the authors who write them.

Website:  www.one-story.com 

Country:  USA

Publishing details: One Story is a literary magazine that contains, simply, one story. Approximately every three-four weeks, subscribers are sent One Story in the mail, or on their digital devices.

One Story publishes one story at a time, and they only publish an author once, so readers always get a new voice. For each story, they post a personal introduction from the editor on their website, as well as a Q&A with the author explaining their process, and invite comments on their blog, Facebook, and Twitter, so readers can share their thoughts. Each issue of One Story is artfully designed, lightweight, and easy to carry.

One Story is available only by subscription in print or on your digital reading device.

Circulation:  Over 15,000 readers

Types of stories wanted:   One Story is seeking literary fiction. They can be any style and on any subject as long as they are good. They are looking for stories that leave readers feeling satisfied and are strong enough to stand alone.

Page length and payment:  Because of the format, they can only accept stories between 3,000 and 8,000 words.  One Story is offering $500 and 25 contributors copies for First Serial North American rights. All rights will revert to the author upon publication.

What I like:  One Story is devoted to the development and support of emerging writers. They have published over 180 different authors, many at the beginning of their careers. They mentor these writers, helping them navigate the publishing world, and promoting their books through email blasts, on their web site and social networks, in a quarterly printed insert in the magazine, and at their annual Literary Debutante Ball. 

What I don’t like:  I don’t like that you have to have an account with them to submit.  I don’t like that once you sell to them, you can’t sell to them again.  But…hey, let’s try to get that one sale, right?

Submission guidelines: They accept submissions from September 1st through May 31st.

They accept PDF, RTF, and TXT files that are less than 500KB. Please include the story title and all writer contact info on the first page of the submitted file.

One Story is looking for previously unpublished material. However, if a story has been published in print outside of North America, it will be considered. No stories previously published online will be accepted.  Simultaneous submissions accepted but please notify us immediately if your submission is accepted for publication elsewhere.

Response time: One Story receives close to 100 submissions each week. Please understand that they do not have time to comment on individual stories. They usually can respond within 8-12 weeks, but it sometimes takes longer. If you don’t hear back within that time, please be patient. It is their goal to make sure each submission gets a good read.

How to submit: They have an automated system for you to send your work. It will securely send their editors your story and email you a confirmation that it has been received. To use the automated system, you need to have a One Story account. When you are ready to submit please visit their Submission Manager.

 You can check the status of your submissions at any time by going to the login page. “Received” means that your story has been received and is in their database. “Under consideration” means that your story has been assigned to a member of their editorial staff.

More info:   Published for over 13 years the publication has garnered dozens of respectable literary awards, including the PEN/Nora Magid award for editorial excellence.